WHAT NOW!

The alarm was quite the surprise on Monday.  It is not often that I am not awake beforehand, and I had been more awake than asleep during most of the night, but those few minutes before 'getting up time' were wonderful, and the rude interruption was not particularly pleasant.  I could not believe the weekend had come and gone so quickly, and we were once again on the Monday morning chore list!  It is not that my life revolves around 'chores' but I try to be methodical.  

Despite the lack of motivation, I soon charged around the house in record time, and managed to get all done before going to work.  I knew I had a lot to do, but was in a decent frame of mind to get started.  Naturally, something happened to stop me in my tracks!  'Camel's backs', 'straws' and 'breaking' came to mind!  Whilst not quite at that stage, by the time I got to start my first task, the morning was already 'mid', with nothing I could do about it!

One of my first tasks was to call a sheriff's office in a neighbouring state.  I will not mention the state as it would be unfair, but being brought up with the good old English bobby, who was decisive and confident (obviously not in the 'Carry-on' films, circa 60's) it is always amusing to talk to a laid back law enforcement office.  Presumably, their crime rate is low, and everyone knows everyone else.  Most people 'double up' on their duties, and it brings the traditional 'Hallmark' movies to life!

"You what now?" is one of my favourite sayings.  Everytime I hear it said, I try hard not to laugh.  "I have a citation with petition to deliver to an individual in your area", prompted the response.  I was put through to someone in the 'civil division', and once again, the dulcet tones repeated "You what now?"  I repeated my request and was told that the particular lady who deals with 'that' was in court today, and the person manning the phones could not give me any information as to cost or procedure.  I offered a suggestion.  "Should I call back tomorrow?"  This suggestion was considered to be quite a good idea, but I would have to do so before 9:30 as there was the possibility that said lady would have to return to the courthouse.  My day was complete!

Going from one end of the country to the other is always amusing.  I remember a 'judge' in a 'talent contest' comparing the people from different parts of the country.  From New York and New England, if a less than satisfactory answer was given regarding their performance, they would cuss and rage.  On the West Coast, the same comments would receive 'tantrums and tears'.  However, 'down south', if someone was told they were 'awful', they would simply say, "Thank you, sir", and walk off!  Perhaps not all my calls are like that, but they can be similar.  

Trying to explain the complexities of attempting to get to an apartment can be quite tricky when in the northern 'big' cities, they are simple, straight up, buildings, probably with a concierge and a front door.  "We looked online and there is no gate.  Your guy went to the wrong place!  We are looking now!  It is like a large entrance with a big central entrance!"  An English accent doesn't always come across as knowing what it is talking about.  I did not get a "You what now?", but a very unbelieving, "Huh?"  A lot of apartment buildings have a beautiful entrance, with a very ornate looking 'welcoming' foyer, but that is where the niceties end!  What you cannot see is the side entrance, where there is a very large, very secure gate!  The 'beautiful' foyer houses the apartment manager's office, which has an exit to the 'grounds' operated by a switch (which is behind the desk, which is behind a wall) or a key card (or similar) access.  Basically, you cannot get in!  "No Trespassing" in Texas means exactly that, and applies to 'everyone'!  It is like trying to explain television to a time traveler from the middle ages!  Admittedly, it is more amusing than frustrating, as I can see the picture in my head, but they cannot, and the more I try to describe it, the less they can imagine!  "Is there someone else there, who I can speak to?"  I pass them on to Grant.  "What you cannot see is the side entrance, where there is a very large, very secure gate!  The 'beautiful' foyer houses the apartment manager's office, which has an exit to the 'grounds' operated by a switch (which is behind the desk, which is behind a wall) or a key card (or similar) access.  Basically, you cannot get in!"  Of course, there are a few 'Americanisms' thrown in, and the caller goes away somewhat satisfied.

Once again, I was thrown into the 'accent works' and 'accent doesn't'. Even when I explain things very thoroughly, and am understood, and answer all questions thrown at me, a 'second opinion' is often sought. It matters not anymore.  

I was more bothered by the text I received from my husband, at 5:30pm, on Wednesday night, as I was putting the finishing touches on dinner.  "Yes, he is coming, and he is bringing his brother", was the answer to the question, asking if one of our usual guests was going to be joining us, or whether he was 'on the road'.  Letting me know Tuesday evening, is ideal, but normally, as is the 'laid back' way, I am told on Wednesday afternoon, or evening, and there is never any question as to whether the caterer can accommodate.  I do tend to 'over cater' as is a family trait, and I am sure that with the traditional 'Texas' buffet style meals that are usually on the table, they think nothing of finding enough to feed an extra mouth.  After all, it is Texas, and everything is bigger (and perhaps more plentiful) here!  However, despite having lived almost a third of my life here, I am still an English girl, who is used to the old fashioned dinner party, where guests are invited and when they arrive, they take their seats at the dining table.  Okay, so I am a bit old-fashioned, and I doubt that this is still the case, but I still cannot get used the 'last minute' confirmation.  I am working on it....still working on it!!

My dinner was well appreciated, and dessert (almost) traditional English Fayre.  A bread and butter pudding with spiced apples and raisins was presented before my eager guests.  I had planned to do something else, but after making 'pin-wheels' for last Saturday, I had not wanted to discard all the crusts, and brought them home!  "You what now?" was the comment, after I had answered the question, "What is it?"  All the other little 'irks' dissipated!  

I cannot fathom where the week went (let alone the year) and we were at the tail end, again.  I would consider wondering how to make 'suing' an occupation, if I were not in the middle of it!  One of our regular delivery guys entered the office, and greeted me, as he always does, with a large grin, and an enormous envelope!  He was also carrying a box, and my face must have shown some degree of angst.  However, the box was not for us, and the relief was much more expressive.  "It is not that I am not always happy to see you....", I said, with a chuckle in my voice.  He understood completely.  He said he was busier than ever!  Of course, it is December, and delivery folk are traditionally run off their feet, so to speak.

The 'camel and the straw' came into play on Friday, when I was playing 'catch up' and the light came on saying I was out of toner!  Grant ran in with a replacement, as he was opening the new box that had been delivered, and put it in my printer.  However, when the first batch of papers came out, they were completely grey, with no identifiable print on them at all.  I ran a couple more and the same thing.  One of our servers appeared through the front door (we do not have a hidden gate) and asked if all was okay, as I sat with my head in my hands.  "I am out of toner, and the camel's back just broke!" I heard myself say. She looked confused, as well as concerned, but Grant waved her on and replaced the original cartridge, promising to return with a solution.  I felt no need to explain.  The idiosyncrasies of the English woman are well known to all our staff, friends, neighbours and the like, and they just nod and smile!

Another work week over, and the shopping trip on Saturday was manic.  All those 'last minute' Christmas gifts that people have suddenly found they need, were being purchased.  I grumble about an extra person at the dinner table.  I think that is a little absurd when looking at Texas shoppers looking like they have just been told they are no good in a West Coast game show audition!

Excitement brewed as the fire truck went past my window, and I walked out on to my balcony, barefooted and without a hat or coat, but simply in my shorts and t-shirt.  As is (again) traditional, all the neighbours appeared (more suitably dressed) and congregated around the bottom of my unit.  The truck drove up and back again, waved to us and continued on its way.  It appeared that someone across the road (main road) had called them saying they saw smoke.  A five minute interruption and all was well!  

The end of the year always calls for some sort of festivities and today I am going to bake!  Or am I?  That is the plan, but it is already later than anticipated, and I am not prepared at all!  Laid back? Me?  I hardly think so, but some things are contagious.  I shall continue with the rest of my life in .......... another story!