When I brushed the ant off my arm on Sunday afternoon, I did not realise how much damage it had done. Yes, I killed it, and I am sorry to all those who think I have caused an ecological collapse, or some sort of 'butterfly' effect, but it was a case of it or me! I felt the first bite, but could not get it off my arm before it bit several more times. Poetic justice one might say, but for whom. Some might say that I got what I deserved for killing the (less than) harmless insect, but then it bit me first! The only problem was that whilst dealing with the ant, I did not notice the more ferocious creature that decided to feast. Be it before or after the ant, it was by far more effective! I am not sure if I have mentioned the book I was reading at the time, but it is about animals going 'off piste' so to speak, and attacking humans in a way that is not usual. I was sitting reading, and did not realise that the gnawing that was going on was not psychological. I was in the first few scenes of my own horror movie, one in which I did not know that I was the star, as not only did I not audition for the part, but I would never have put my name forward! However, it appeared I was the only candidate, despite my preference. I have always said that if a film was ever made about my life (and I doubt it would be of much interest to anyone, but....) I would like Annette Bening to play me. I am not sure the lovely Annette would be interested in this part! I was very much playing myself!
The itching started before I left the pool for what was very possibly the last swim of the season. I counted four bites as I scratched my arm, and got into the water to relieve the irritation. I was alone, obviously, as the temperature only just hit 90.
Ice pops, as we call them in England, also known here as 'freeze pops', and excellent when it comes to needing relief from insect bites. I used to use frozen vegetables, but once defrosted they could not be used for consumption and I did not want to be accused of wasting food! Ice pops are a great alternative to those 'blue things' that are used in cooler boxes etc., and if they should leak, as the 'blue things' have occasion to do, they are not filled with toxic substance, although again, I may be reprimanded for not considering food colouring, and sugar, toxic. Oh yes! I am not a roll! Sunday evening was spent with my arm wrapped up in ice pops!
Anti-histamine tablets (or the 'little yellow pills'' as we refer to them) put me to sleep. They are also rather good at 'deflaming' any irritants in the body, and for that reason I took a whole tablet on Sunday night, hoping to achieve the optimal effect. Waking up at two in the morning, and finding that the ice-pops were now just 'pops', would have been easily remedied if I was not experiencing the drowsiness from the pill. It was not until four that my brain allowed my limbs to move freely and replace the ice! By the time the alarm went off, I was ready to go to sleep! By now, the movie would have also, probably, put the audience to sleep!
The storm on Sunday night had reduced the temperatures mildly on Monday morning, but I could have heated a whole room by inserting my lower left arm into its midst. I could not see any evidence around the swelling, but did notice the marks left by the now deceased ant They were dotted around the red mound that was increasing in size. Dramatic? Well it felt quite dramatic at the time. I remembered all those stories that I had heard years ago about people being bitten by various insects, or arachnids, and the outcome, but quickly dismissed them as being a bit too 'Hollywood' for my liking. After all, being English, I would have favoured, the 'Hammer House of Horrors' studio! Fortunately, I had ice pops at the office!
By Tuesday morning, my arm had started to 'seize'. It was probably the effects of the swelling, and not paralysis as my mind was wanting to believe. The puncture mark had made itself evident by the substance that appeared to be seeping from my skin. It was not green, it was not purple, it was not a mixture of colours that would have been seen in an episode of a science fiction series, it was colourless and presumably odourless. May arm, on the other hand, was turning a deeper and deeper shade of red, partly due to the scratching, but not completely! Outside the sun was shining, and although not hot enough for a swim, the mid-seventy temperature was pleasant. I was shivering.
The walk was not much of a distraction, but as Samantha needed to go to the supermarket, I decided to ask the opinion of the pharmacist. "Ooh, that looks nasty", she said. "Is it painful?" I responded that it was mainly itching and burning, and did I mention itching! The pain was secondary as it could not compete with the other symptoms, but there was a constant dull ache. "Hmm. Nasty". Hollywood? Hammer? No. This was sitcom! I stood, feeling as I was looking helpless. The pharmacist directed me to some topical remedies, and did not recommend I seek further medical advice. "Put the first cream on, then if that works, don't buy the other one", said my helpful daughter. The first cream did not work, but I had opened it so I would have to purchase it! Perhaps it would come in handy at another time. Like when I was resting from my acting career, which would probably be a permanent thing, as I was currently performing in one of the worst 'B' rated films in existence!
I must have been directing my own film, or acting extremely well, (despite the 'B' movie rating) as I did not get an ounce of guidance from anyone, especially when I let out loud groaning noises throughout the afternoon. By the end of the day I had used almost half the tube of each topical remedy, finding that there was a slight relief from one on the ant bites and the same with the other on the arachnid attack. I did not bother reading the instructions, and used as needed, which was frequently. I had also taken the equivalent of two yellow tablets, (half at a time,) and was planning to add another one to my system before going to sleep. Sleep. I longed for sleep! I had awoken several times the previous night, and replaced the ice pops almost every hour, on the hour. My face was pale, and my eyes sunken, presumably due to lack of sleep. I started to actually look 'the part'.
Driving across town on Wednesday morning was a decision to be placed under scrutiny. I had made pastry for pies, just because I refused to 'give in' to the lack of movement in my left hand. Joe looked at my arm, and smiled. He had seen this before, once when I had been bitten on my toe, and quite nonchalantly commented, "Yep, spider!" I left with confirmation, and drove to my next appointment, where I warned Michele that I might suddenly pull my hand away, or twitch as the itch took me, so to speak! I think I managed quite well!
The afternoon was not as good. I had to go to the post office to drop off two large packages, and get home to prepare dinner. Much to everyone's surprise, I really did only have one dessert to offer! I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow, but awoke just after midnight to a melted bag of ice. The ice-pops are wonderful, but they were melting in minutes and I only had a supply of two dozen! When would this ever end. I felt as if I was at least gaining my audiences sympathy, if not their full attention. It was a pretty boring film, and quite monotonous! After all, there had been no mention of any further attacks, let alone evidence of an epidemic. In fact, the arachnid population were not expanding at an alarming rate, if at all. There had not been a siting by anyone within the 'cast' at all!
Functioning on no sleep, albeit with a bloodstream full of sleep inducing drugs, and an arm and hand half a size larger than normal, Thursday became somewhat of a blur. Thankfully, however, the discolouration had started to diminish, and a clearly defining mark showed to where the inflamation had spread. The bruising was 'coming out', and I only needed one ice pop application in the afternoon. The 'heating' had been turned off, and I would barely be able to make a decent cup of tea if I had put my arm into a cup of cold water! I was starting to feel a little better and my temperature had returned to normal. I wore a sleeveless dress and did not feel the need to put on a jacket, other than when someone happened to say, "Oh my goodness, what happened to your arm!" It caused widened eyes and a gasp when I replied, "Half a dozen ants and a spider!" I was half expecting a response of, "Are you sure there are not any eggs in there?", but then I had realised this was an 'independent' movie and not Hollywood, nor even Hammer! "Did you see a doctor?" was the actual response. "Nope. They did it on their own". Sarcasm is not always understood here, and a slight uneasy giggle was followed by departure. I thought of my 'follow-up' routine as a stand up comic. "What's good for a spider bite? A great big spider!" The offers have not yet come pouring in, neither do I expect them!
One bag of ice took care of Thursday night, and half a tablet. I had to start weening off the little yellow pills. Sleep eluded me for most of the night, but I did get a little more than the previous five. Storms raged throughout the night, and thunder clapped overhead many times. Friday was going to be busy as we had received a call to say someone was sending us a 'week's worth' of papers. I did not take my walk until well into the afternoon. Temperatures had dropped so much that I wore a coat on Friday morning. Long sleeves were turned up quite quickly, however, as the area from my elbow to my wrist were still too sensitive to have anything touch them. My jackets had proved to be less constrictive than a long sleeved blouse and I had also been wearing a tubular bandage doubled over with ice pops in the middle! No wonder I felt cold, but it probably helped with the fever!
I felt somewhat normal on Saturday. My head was pounding slightly, but I gave it no credence. My arm had a mottled appearance, and was no longer swollen, and I was able to wear a wedding ring! There was still pain if I touched the affected area. ("Well don't touch it then", echoed my mother's voice, from bygone days, if ever I complained about a bruise or graze.) I had not taken any pills, and did not really need an icepack. I wore long sleeves without too much discomfort, and set about my day. I prepared some pastry cases for quiches, a rice and corn salad, and a dozen trifles for my daughter, who was having a 'belated' birthday party. We went shopping and managed to complete all that we wanted to accomplish by two o'clock. However, it was too cold to swim. Grant had arrived at my house to replace the shower part, that has been broken for weeks, and had finally arrived, but it did not fix the problem, as it needs 'something' else. Hopefully next week....!
Saturday afternoon was spent mostly in the kitchen, but I did manage to 'catch forty winks' towards the evening. We took ourselves, with the goodies, to Samantha and Edward's house. My daughter's front 'yard' was decorated with halloween inflatables. As I exited the car, a rather large Frankenstein's monster, sitting on a toilet, (why?) made a noise that sounded like he had eaten something contrary! Apparently, the wind (no pun intended) moved the object and in doing so set off a trigger that makes it make a noise. I found this to be quite funny. This was before having a drink! Edward prepared me a cocktail, which I drank and enjoyed. It was the perfect end to my little horror movie, as it showed the 'star' was well on her way to a full recovery. However, as most know, I do not do alcohol well, and I was giggling quite profusely within seconds, and felt an irritation grow in my arm. It was probably just the last remnants, but it would leave the door open for a sequel!
The alcohol, probably the alcohol, did nothing to ease my headache, and I was probably quite dehydrated having had very little to drink during the day. It was much cooler, as mentioned, but the temperature had risen to the high seventies during the day. I woke several times in the night and felt quite unwell. Painkillers replaced yellow tablets and I felt quite sorry for myself. I did feel a little guilty when I thought about 'real' suffering, as I often do when I feel sorry for myself, but this was 'my' real suffering, and I wanted it to go away! I can sympathise, not empathise, as I know not the pain of others.
Swimming was definitely out of the question on Sunday. Had I not encountered the evil beast that caused me to enter into a new career (albeit make believe) this week, I may have endured the icy water and congratulated myself on my fearless behaviour. However, I did not feel up to any more discomfort!
At this precise moment, I could close my eyes and doze. I could not be sure for how long I would sleep, but it feels like it could be a week! Samantha called me earlier to say that she had taken a nap, and the wind was quite strong in her part of the world, and Frankenstein's monster was creating quite a stir! I am glad I am not living there! One more thing to keep me awake.
Apart from dressing myself in armour, or living in a bubble, I am unsure how I can protect myself from things indigenous to Texas, but as few and far between as the attacks are, I will risk it. Will there be a sequel? I hope not, but then who knows what will happen in ........... another story!
No comments:
Post a Comment