LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU!

Despite not having anything planned for the week, entertainment value can be gained in so many areas of my life.  Life is remarkably different here, in my corner of the capital city of the largest contiguous state, and as one of my oldest friends (and indeed, ex-fiancé, at the tender age of six, but that is another story!) remarked recently, it is a far cry from the small cul-du-sac where we were raised!

Choosing not to go into the water on Sunday was a very good idea!  It had taken me sometime to warm up after the event on Saturday, and although, no doubt, very refreshing, unless forced to do so, I would not undertake the task.  Once again, forced was an issue when many of us took part in the 'swimming gala', (a few years after my pre-adolescent non-nuptials,) when the water was so cold, many of us shivered for weeks!  However, I digress!  The weather was pleasant but not overly hot, and I came back up to do a little bit of gardening. A very quiet, uneventful day!

Despite all the talk of the Easter weekend approaching, and lots of people threatening to take the day off on Friday, and the possible chance of a 'catch-up' day, Monday was fast and furious.  Perhaps they were just clearing their desks before the long weekend!  The promise of a 'quarter of a gazillion' new filings by one of our clients, was, we hoped, vastly over-rated.  I have looked up the definition of a 'gazillion' and choose not to explain what I found.  The exaggeration was, merely, to put us on notice that we were to expect many  new papers.  The court had issued them in a reasonably timely manner and they started to flood in.  

Having no 'extra-curricular' activity this week, gave me a false sense of security, and the time that I thought I would gain from not leaving the office, did not really manifest.  "Maybe I will come visit" we heard from a couple of people, who said they had 'time off' for the Easter weekend.  Of course, the people who made the comment were those who usually want 'this done now', and 'why are you not there to answer my questions 24/7'.  (Perhaps not said verbatim, but the meaning is definitely taken!)  It is true, I must add, that most of the people who are in the league of the aforementioned, usually turn out to be very nice, in reality, and apologise profusely for their 'alter ego'.  

By Wednesday, I was ready to throw in the towel!  Metaphorically, of course, but when the suggestion that we send a particular paper out, by certified mail, to six individuals, in the hope that 'someone will bite' was the final straw.  Having to go to the post office is not always my favourite pasttime, but I considered the option that as it was the Wednesday before Good Friday, perhaps, just perhaps, there would be a lull in the queue.  

I arrived at the post office a little after eleven, having managed to prepare all my post, procure a cheque, and leave my workload in a manageable state.  The queue was not particularly long, and I was third in line.  Two representatives sat at the counter, one of whom I recognised, but one who appeared to be relatively new.  The passport office was being manned by a veteran of the establishment.  This, in my opinion, should not have been a long drawn out experience!  Oh many a word said in jest!  The best laid plans, etc., etc!  Never count your chickens, and so on and so forth!

"So what does that mean?  So you have no internet.  Why does that affect the card machine?" asked a customer.  Somehow, the phrase 'electronic payment', did not seem to infer that an 'electronic' method of receiving said payment was necessary.  Gone are the days (of which I am sure she would not remember) when cards were put into a sliding machine, where a copy was taken, and the carbon print was deposited with the bank.  For the protection of those using the cards, 'electronic' methods were considered safer, and more efficient.  Advancement was the name of the game, and safety paramount!  I stood and marveled at the innocence of today's youth.  The cashier, painstakingly, attempted to explain.  The customer was quite oblivious.  "So what do I do?" she asked, card still firmly in her hand. "I did this last week and it worked fine!"  I wanted to say something, but chose to remain silent.  The other cashier was explaining the same thing to her customer, but the explanation appeared to be coherent to the second person.  A conversation ensued, explanations attempted, understanding completely void, and the line was getting longer.  

"I shall go speak to my manager.  Tell her that we need to get someone call the internet people, and see if they can't get this thing up and running" said the lady with the customer who had a modicum of understanding.  The other customer was still trying to comprehend the dilemma, looking in horror when the cashier mentioned the word 'cash'.  It was as if someone had said something incredibly rude and insulting!  Things took a turn for the worse when the 'next in line' shouted across that she had cash.  "So what am I meant to do?" came the response from the card wielding girl, looking as if she was now a victim of a 'hold up'.  

We stood and waited.  It is Austin.  It is what people do. The passport aficionado came out from her locked office, and stared at the line, and made a noise that appeared to be a chuckle.  Back inside her office she went after ushering in her next patron.

Eventually, the cashless customer gave up her fight and vowed to come back another day, or go to another post office, or emigrate!  The other customer at the counter was getting a quote for her pile of letters and parcels.  "Has something happened?" asked the little pixie in front of me.  I had forgotten she was there, so slight and tiny, with her headphones deleting any vestige of life other than what was being fed into her ears by the pods.  "The card machine is not working", I responded, choosing not to say, "The internet is down" for fear of having to explain.  However, it was the wrong sentence to use, as she said, "What does that mean?"  I looked as poker faced as possible, not wanting to show her an expression that basically said, "What do you think it means" and slowly allowed a smile, not a wry grin, but a real sparkle to cover my face, and said, very gently, "You cannot use a credit or debit card".  She gave me a vacant look and returned the buds to her ears.

Time was marching on, and the supervisor was apparently on the phone to another entity and had not yet made the call to the person who was presumably going to save the day.  The lady who was able to pay cash was now at the counter, and chatting to the cashier, oblivious to the queue that was now heading out of the door.  Whispers came along the line as to what was wrong, and the lady behind me, who had been standing there for nearly as long as me, asked, "Is something wrong?"  She did not have earbuds, nor appeared to be hearing impaired.  "The card machine is not working", I said, thinking that this would be a simple explanation, as the woman appeared to be around my era.  I was wrong.  The same expression, smile, patience, and all other elements trying not to make her feel pathetic, followed.  

The little girl in front of me finally got to the counter.  She wanted a form to change her address, which she was given.  Finally, I was next.  "Can you take a cheque?" I asked.  Apparently, a cheque would work!  However, my cashier was new.  Patience was one of her virtues, and I appreciated that, but she was not particularly au-fait with my request.  In the meantime, the original customer at the first desk finally received her quote, and the supervisor remained anonymous!  

After about three pieces of post being processed, the little girl arrived back at the desk.  "Excuse me", she said, very politely, but continued to talk without gaining the attention of the cashier.  "Is this my permanent address?"  I bit my top lip to stop myself from making a sound.  "What do you mean?" asked the cashier. "Is my new address my permanent address?" she asked.  Years ago, people would have looked around for the secret recorders.  "You have been on 'Candid Camera', smile!" would come the explanation for the strange events that preceded the announcement by the presenter.  (I doubt it would be allowed today!  Someone would sue for defamation of character!  Perhaps I should have mentioned, this post is 'Without Prejudice!')  "Is the new address permanent?" asked the cashier.  The little girl looked.  "Was my last address temporary?" she asked.  The cashier was very patient.  "Just put that this is your permanent address", she offered.  "It doesn't give me the option", said the little girl.  The cashier motioned for her to hand over the form, which she did.  A few flicks of the pen, and the form was returned, signed by the pixie, and given back.  "Also" said the little girl.  She went on to say that she had been the victim of a personal document theft, something that could lead to much bigger problems, and asked if they had a form for that.  The cashier said that she would need to go to the local court, "Or the police", I did not verbally offer!  With all the concerns about theft of identity, I was amazed that the child did not find this more concerning. "I can't do that today. I know it might sound important, but this has been more than I can manage", she exclaimed.  Both the cashier and I looked astonished!  

A baby in a 'car seat' waiting with his or her parents to get a passport application completed, started to scream.  "What is wrong with that child", asked my cashier.  I did not offer an answer, once again.  I did think that it was probably obvious.  As long as the queue was, as much hysteria as there had been in the line, and as long as they had been quiet, it seemed rather obvious.  Tired?  Hungry?  Afraid!  The atmosphere was one of confusion.  The length of the line was not the problem, it was the fact that there was a possibility of not being able to use a form of electronic payment caused the problem to all!  Or most! The phrase, 'What do you mean?" could be heard continously.  

"Priority stamps.  Do you have any?" I asked.  "You what now?" came my favourite reponse.  "Priority stamps, like this," I said, pointing to one of my envelopes which I had brought in pre-stamped. "Not seen those" she said.  "Not surprised!" I didn't say.  

Despite the whole episode taking nearly an hour, I had enjoyed the entertainment.  I felt sorry for the younger generation, and some of the older, for not understanding simple things.  When you are raised with no electricity, the light switch could seem like a scary thing.  Explaining to those who have never experienced the lack of the ability to just flick that switch, press that button, twist that dial, could have been rather difficult, but most of us have experienced a power cut, and have flicked a switch and found it has not worked.  It is frustrating, but it is something we understand.  However, trying to explain how you can live without a mobile phone, internet, and credit card, the latter which is also becoming obsolete as the phone holds all, is almost an impossibility.  We recently explained to a young acquaintance that not only did the Romans (as in Empire) did not have the United States Postal Service, but the United States was not a place at the time!  Being dependent upon electronics is somewhat disturbing.  

I returned back to my office.  It occurred to me that elsewhere, the whole experience could have ended in a rather nasty scenario.  Different cities, different outcomes!  There could have been a riot in a less Stepford city!  Foul language was not heard.  Raised voices were not really heard. (Even the original customer did not raise her voice.) All, no doubt, ended without incident.  It also ended without a lot of purchases, but that's life!

Entertainment was less prolific for the rest of the week, but we did get a visit from one of our clients, who wants everything 'now', and who apologised profusely for her 'other' self!  She was gracious enough to bring a box of donuts, from Voodoo, which despite the name not being particularly appealing to me, are as near to what I know to be a doughnut as any that I have tasted here!  It is always good to put a face to a name, and even better when that name tells you face to face that she is sorry for putting you to the test, every time!  

Our Saturday was also not usual.  Bluebonnets, on March 7, 1901, were declared the national flower of Texas. and for a short time each year, they bloom, and bloom  Once the 'Indian Paintbrushes' start to show their beautiful contrast of almost burnt orange (the official colour of the University of Texas,) and the Mexican Hats show off their yellow and crimson petals, you know it is almost time for the bluebonnets demise.  The Pinkladies seal the fate for another year!  However, some years they last longer than others, and some years they bloom quicker than others. Taking pictures in the Bluebonnets is a Texas pasttime and you will often see cars parked on the side of a very busy highway, and families sitting down in a field of blooms, either snapping away, or having someone snap for them.  We went to a church near Samantha, where these beautiful flowers formed blankets and blankets.  It was a fun outing, and having our 'official' grandparent pictures taken was an event.  Several photographers were milling around, with many cars coming and going with lots of adults and children. This is Texas. This was traditional Texas entertainment! What a way to end the weekend!

Easter Sunday was upon us and the clocks went forward, across the pond.  Finally, after several weeks, we are back to a six hour time difference.  

Once again, there are no plans for next week, but there is bound to be something that causes me to smile, grit my teeth or generally seem like it is worth sharing.  Watch out for .......... another story!