A SIGH IS JUST A SIGH!

The previous week had taken its toll!  Monday morning began with my usual routine, but there was a strange sense of something missing. I could not put my finger on it at first, but all too soon the reality hit.  Was the 'closure' that I was looking for really necessary.  It was more of an 'acceptance'.  With the birth of my newest grandson, and the passing of my mother, the Yuletide holidays and new year, so quickly followed by a trip to England, I did not really have time to catch up with myself!  Not calling mum on a regular basis had seemed a little odd to start with, but then 'regular' had gone out of the window for a couple of months.  Suddenly, all is encompassed by a smile and a sigh!

To digress, as is my whim, and perhaps 'back up a little', my calls to my mother whilst she was in hospital, had been at different times, but the morning call was replaced with one to my sister, so there was not really a change in routine.  Of course, my time at home had been very different, as I had not been running 'too and fro', each day, as had been the norm in the past.  The journey back was definitely one for the history books, and getting back into routine was not an option immediately.  Monday morning was probably the first day that seemed regular!

As I pottered around my house, I found myself looking at the clock. It was time to call my mum, but of course, I would not be doing that anymore.  I smiled and recalled the last few lucid conversations we had, talking about holidays and recipes, my dad and other memories. Instead of feeling a loss, I felt a completeness and gratitude for those great memories. 'Closure' wasn't what I needed after all.  'Acceptance' was a much better option.

Although our office had been closed for two days last week, many were closed for longer, and some of our clients had been without power. Interestingly enough, the 'downtown' area had been hit as badly as the suburbs, and the city's energy provider were coming under fire.  In fact, our new mayor was issuing apology after apology for the lack of communication and action.  Our beautiful, vibrant city had become little more than a statistic.  I felt the loss!  All I could do was smile and sigh!

Despite the mourning in several different scenarios, joy was about to spread through my house.  Edward had to visit a 'sister' facility, and was on what is termed a 'business trip', and was concerned about how his wife and son would cope alone for three days, having to deal with bad weather aftermath and two neurotic dogs.  I think it was the two neurotic dogs that primarily had him concerned.  Although Samantha was adamant that she was capable of surviving without him, she chose to appease him whilst he was out of town, and came to stay with me.  

I arrived home Monday evening to chaos.  My daughter, together with most of her household had arrived.  The 'mayhem' that resulted in  eleven years of 'clean up', managing to reduce and condense the rubble to the 'abyss' that was her room, and then managing to clear, store and (in the extreme) throw out said rubble, had been restored. I smiled.  Memories are precious!  As routine was paramount when my children were born, and with my mother's military-like influence (for which I am truly grateful, despite my mocking) enjoying the early years was not an option.  My sister and I often reminisce on how everything stopped at five o'clock for bath, feed and bed!  Then we spent the rest of the evening clearing away the mess that we had been clearing away all day!  The reason I smiled was because my daughter, despite actually having a rather strict routine, has not allowed the routine to overtake her.  She is in charge of 'it'.  

The little dog was not allowed to stay with me on Monday night, as the larger one curled up next to Dana and would not move unless Dana moved.  After their walk, they were separated and did not appear perturbed.  I heard the baby, but not the dog!  

All aspects of ice had disappeared.  Trees, and limbs thereof were still scattered across pathways and along the roads.  Temperatures returned to seasonal normal and sunny days followed.  The dogs were present at the office and life appeared to be coming back to normal. Electricity was restored to almost all neighbourhoods with a few being promised 'by the weekend'.  It was not good enough, but there was little anyone could do.  

Our life at the office was busy.  Competition was rife, as everyone had a story to tell.  "How long were you without power?" and "My yard has ten, no twelve, no eighteen trees down".  I was surrounded by the proverbial fisherman and the story of the 'one that got away'. However, everyone had survived and it looked like we were heading into spring.  I smiled and had to suppress the sigh!

By Thursday evening, all vestige of the human tornado that hit Monday evening appeared to be gone.  I walked into my house and saw no signs of guests.  However, upon further inspection there were a couple of things still hovering.  Balloons!  My grandson appears to be quite taken with shadows, and seems fascinated by those made by balloons.  Helium filled bears were still floating around my living room.  The bedroom in which they had been staying was neatly 'packed away' and laundry set to one side as I had requested.  Who was this new person who purported to be my daughter?  Not a sock anywhere to be found, on the floor or surfaces!  Nothing had been hung on the hooks on the ground for me to stumbled over.  Was this progress?  

I noticed the same sense of loss on Friday morning that I had on Monday.  It was not the loss of the little family that had invaded my life for three days, but the lack of a phone call.  For nearly nineteen years, come rain or shine, (although ice storms were an exception,) I had called my mum.  During the week, the call had been at six thirty each morning, and at weekends a little later.  As my routine had been restored to 'pre-December' days, it became evident that something was missing.  

Grant collected me on Friday and his truck was not happy.  "We used to call that 'missing'.  I have no idea as to the term now", I said, trying to sound technical.  "Yep.  It's 'missing' alright" he responded.  It got us to work, but he called the dealership who suggested he bring it in.  A tow was arranged, and I went to pick him up from the northside of town.  Thankfully, it appeared the problem was still under the warranty.  How he was going to get home was the next subject.  "You can have the mini!" I said, full of enthusiasm.  Dana reiterated that the little vehicle was his for the duration.  He hesitated.  Everyone hesitates!  My old lady is old and she rattles.  She makes noises when it is cold, and sometimes judders when she is not handled with care.  "Firm but kind", I tell people is how she needs to be taken out.  There is normally a 'better' alternative. I have not been taken up on my offer yet!  It is not that I want to loan her out but sometimes, if there is an emergency, she is there!  However, needs must and Grant agreed to taking the little lady as it was his only option.  "Let me know when you are home", I said, sounding like the nagging mother! He put the car into gear, reversed out of the car port, pulled a face at the noise that was coming from the steering column, (the source of which cannot be found after several extensive diagnostic sessions,) and then bunny hopped to the slope.  "Don't worry", I told him.  "It's just rheumatism!"  

As Dana and I sat down to dinner, I received a text.  "Dude!  This ride is awesome!  So much fun!"  She had won him over!  I was excited as I received another 'dude' from Grant.  Only his nearest and dearest are respondents of this endearment.  

Samantha collected me on Saturday and we shopped.  She called to say she was on her way, and I told her that I was ready as I did not have to call Grams!  I sat and put some of my latest jigsaw together during the afternoon, after a walk.  I emptied the skimmers by the pool, and bumped into several neighbours.  

Although the week seemed to 'fly by', it seems as if it happened a long time ago.  Did we really have guests this week?  Did I really only come back home at the end of last week?  We are currently half way through February, and I think I missed New Year! 

Hopefully, next week I shall have a little more 'spice' in my post, and less lethargy.  I don't feel lethargic, but believe the week has past me by without me being here, although I know I was very much here!  Interestingly enough, I do not remember the last time I felt so relaxed, so it cannot be all bad.  Perhaps you are unable to suppress your sigh!

With the Superbowl coming to our televisions tonight, we are currently deciding whether to watch the commercials, broken only by the intermittent quick visuals of men throwing a ball around! There is nothing like tradition to bring you back to earth with a bump and back to reality!  No doubt there will be a lot of laughter, and a lot of tears.  A familiar scenario!  Another football season over and life goes on and everyone can tell ........... another story!