FEELING HOT, HOT HOT!

If the question that I am often posed, "What is the biggest difference you notice, living in the USA?"  was asked his week, it would be "The heat".  Definitely the heat.  There was little else I could think about this week, as on Sunday evening we noticed that our house was not cooling down.  The thermometer on the wall was showing a higher figure than usual, and the fan on the air conditioner was constantly running.  On the readout under the temperature were the words that no one wants to see.  'System malfunction.  Call your service engineer'.

After a night that seemed to last forever, with fans whirring throughout, we went into work and Dana called the company whom he has been using for over a decade.  He was most unsatisfied with the outcome.  Once, a smaller, very reliable establishment, they have now, it appears, hit the 'big time' and no longer have the level of 'personal service' that we enjoyed.  Of course, we understood that they are a business. Of course, we understood that they have to pay their workmen.  Of course, we understood that times change.  I was extremely disappointed with their attitude last time they attended.  Bigger can, sometimes, mean better, but in this case, it did not.  He called another, larger, company.  They were very personable.  Dana took an hour out to meet them at our home, and discuss options.  We were going to need a brand new unit.  Our unit was old, outdated, and not particularly 'energy saving', and all the repairs in the world would not have been able to bring it up to standard.  After a modicum of research, as is my husband's way, he realised that we were going to have to bite the proverbial bullet!

"Wednesday morning.  They will be there on Wednesday morning", came the response to my question, "When?"  Two more nights.  Could I last two more nights.  I started to melt!  I did not have what is colloquially known as a 'melt down', although that was probably more literal in my case, but I felt as if I were melting.  The thought of two more nights without the cooler was not pleasant.  "But you said they had a unit.  Why not sooner?"  If ever I had thought the training for Sheriffs was apt, it would have been now.  The phrase "You what now?" had never been more likely to emit from my lips as it was on Monday.  Suddenly, I realised the importance and relevance of this previously misunderstood expression.  It was almost my reaction to "They have to organise the crane".  A crane?  We were having an air-conditioner fitted, not building a high rise.  A crane?  It appears that the compressor is on the roof and something has to be lowered down, and....and...and.  Enough!  If a crane was needed, then so be it!

I continued with my morning.  Ironically, the air conditioning in my office was working overtime!  As we do not have the thermostat in our office, there are occasions when they need to blast  their room to make it cool.  We are the recipients of the same, and I have put up a cardboard cover over the vent to stop the surge.  However, occasionally, there is a blockage in the ceiling, and we are the victims of a small flood in our back room.  At some time, recently, the engineers had reorganised the vents, and I found that the cardboard was now under empty space, and the vent had been moved forward.  Cold air blasted down upon me, and I had to find some more cardboard, and duck tape, to redirect the wind!  I was beginning to feel like a duck out of water!

My call to a prison was rather amusing.  I am always amused by such things, as it is so far outside what would have been the normal course of events in England.  For example, and I digress knowingly, entering a courthouse still makes me feel slightly unnerved, but I have become less fragile about the event. Walking into a courthouse at home would still, I believe, make me feel a little uneasy.  Calling a prison is something that I am not sure I ever did!  After introducing myself, I asked if I could have the name of the designated representative of the 'inmate'.  A  law was passed a couple of 'sessions' ago, requiring there be one to accept on behalf of the prisoner, should we send documents via certified mail. "Do you have a number, ma'am?"  I did indeed.  I had been provided with that.  "So you are looking for....", and he said the name.  "I am, indeed", I answered.  The helpful gentleman then asked for my name, which I gave, although unsure as to why the question was posed.  "No ma'am.  Your name is not on the visitation list".  I tried hard not to laugh.  "I don't want to visit him.  I want to send him a court document!"  Harder than suppressing my laughter was the need to say, "Although if you have air conditioning, perhaps I could bring it down, and spend the night in a cell?"  Probably not a good idea, to either mention it, or put it into action, but it made me, again, realise how desperate I had become!  Fortunately, the helpful gentleman was amused at his misunderstanding and put me through to the postroom.  

"She is not going to be happy!" I heard Samantha say, as we returned from out lunchtime walk.  It appeared that the crane could not be contracted until Friday!  Happy, or unhappy, as the case may be, was not the adjective that would first come to mind.  My initial reaction was not an adjective, but a verb.  Devastated would be more appropriate.  Traumatised would have worked well!  Friday was four days away.  More to the point, four nights away.  

It is quite amazing how quickly one adapts to one's surroundings, and circumstances, when the need arises.  The box in which my repaired suitcase arrived had still not been sent to the shed.  I placed the 'spare' fan upon the box and angled it towards the bed.  The fan that sits in my room was also raised, on storage boxes, that were sent as 'gifts' when Dana made a couple of online purchases.  I created my own air-conditioning, as we do not have a ceiling fan, as there are no connections for anything on the ceiling!

Tuesday night I became a little more creative.  I had put ice in ziplock bags, into my cooler, and placed that on the bed during  day.  Although the ice had melted, it did cause a vacuum, and cooled the room slightly.  The melted ice was replaced, and the bags were placed around the bed.  I was not quite in the league of Grizzly Adams, but I could adapt!

I had cancelled my nail appointment on Wednesday, but then reactivated it as the 'crane' dictated!  The room where I sat was wonderful.  The crosswinds caused havoc with the curtains and tissues, but I was smiling.  I hoped the breeze would continue into the night.  It did not!  However, I had hatched a new plan.  I had a lot of small water bottles in my cupboard. (Samantha and I keep them on hand and give to those who stand on street corners, displaying cardboard posters with 'anything helps' written on them.  I am sure a lot are not in need, as Dana knew of someone who 'panhandled' in his lunch hour, as he 'earned' more from his lunchtime antics than from his regular job, but it is hot, and if they are that dedicated....and there are those who are genuinely grateful. Another 'different' aspect of my life, however, I digress, again.)  I put a few bottles in the freezer and then wrapped them in towels, and placed them around the bed.  It was like sleeping in an icebox, but at least I slept.  I actually needed a cover!  I was getting good at this!

By Thursday, I had received another tip, from my ingenious daughter.  Place a bowl of ice in front of the fan, to cause a 'mist'.  I do not leave the fans on during the day, but when I came home, I put this pan into action.  Frozen water bottles were replaced, ice blocks were in place, and I had created the home made air conditioner that I wished I had on Monday!  However, the ice melted quicker than anticipated, and my fridge did not reproduce the frozen blocks as quickly as the heat in the house devoured them!

With the crane due to arrive at 1pm, I thought I would have to spend the afternoon at home, and catch up with work into the evening.  However, the call from the engineers to say they were about twenty minutes out, came at 9:15am.  The crane was not needed until they had completed all the work inside, and so the job should be finished around two!  Samantha offered to house sit.  As she would be missed less than me in the office, Dana agreed.  Reluctantly, I had to agree too. I had actually planned out the four or so hours that I was going to have to waste and was slightly disappointed at having to stay at work, in the cool!

The messages came through thick and fast.  Every move the engineer made, including the use of my restroom, was reported.  "He has put a cover down to catch the dust.  I asked him if he knew my grandmother.  He looked very scared!"  This made me chuckle. I was delighted that they were so conscientious of creating less mess for me.  Perhaps he had met my mother and learned from her! More and more little tidbits came across my phone.  Eventually, around one, I received the big one.  "The crane is here".  You what now?  

When Samantha returned to the office, she was full of stories.  One engineer had been inside, while the other was out on the roof.  They were conversing in Spanish and she heard one call to the other to say, what she assumed was, "Speak English".  They came inside to finish the job once the crane had deposited the unit.  "Where are you from?" he asked, as she sat, crocheting on my sofa.  "England", she replied and gave a more specific location within the country.  "And what language do they speak there?"  I have always assumed it is the 'Engl', in English and England, that connect the two.  I have been asked this too.  I can only imagine the look she gave them.  It was probably one of 'those' looks, that will stick with them for life! Never again will they presume to ask such a question!

I did not get to experience the wonder of 'cold' until I came home on Friday, and the first thing that hit me as I walked into my house, was not the fresh blast of air, and the comfortable feeling, but the smell of something abhorrent.  "Oh that is just like a new car smell.  It is the new unit".  It was nothing like used car smell!  Apparently it was the 'glue' they used to putt things in place.  Again, Sheriff language was appropriate. "You what now?  Glue?"  Oh how last millennium am I!

The rest of the weekend was wonderful.  Whilst I was hearing stories from England that the heating was turned on, again, in May, I empathised in reverse.  

Sunday was mother's day in the USA and the annual trip to Abuellos took place, where I received my annual t-shirt, and Samantha presented me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. an a card.  We ate lunch and returned home to a cool house with the smell of glue starting to become little more than a dull ache!

As much as I like the cool, I shall be venturing out into the warm to go swimming later, as my own mother's day treat, despite the fact, as I am reminded, I am a 'mum' and not a 'mom', but that doesn't stop me.  The weather is getting hotter and I am grateful that if the system was to 'go out', it 'went out' now and not during the summer, or indeed next week, when the temperatures are going to hit three figures.  How will I cope?  I will tell you in ........... another story!