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Sunday, December 17, 2017

THE WINTER OLYMPICS!

The marathon started at a steady pace.  The pressure was on, but I took my first step on Sunday afternoon, and laid out the recipes that are given an airing but once a year.  "You need to make....", started the sentence from my daughter, and I knew what was coming next.

It was going to be a busy week, filled with challenges and ending with a sprint to the finish line.  I had booked my flights home, and was coming in earlier than usual, but leaving England on the second, as Dana had commented that it would be easier to have me gone during the 'interim' of the Christmas holiday.  

The mini Chocolate 'Christmas Puddings', Florentines and Christmas tree meringues, were all 'started', at around noon, and by five thirty I had a parade!  


Arranging the snacks on a tray was done as I entered the office on Monday morning.  I had decided to 'decorate' the trees with some coloured cream, by dripping food dye into the piping bag, but rather than tiny baubles on the green and brown meringues, (sandwiched together with chocolate, hence the brown,) they looked like spring flowers!  I decided that no one would know my intention so explanations were not needed.  I took a tray into my neighbouring office, and explained 'what'all' I had provided.  Attempting to list the ingredients in a traditional Christmas pudding and then trying to explain that the treats provided were of completely different items, made to look like a 'traditional' pudding, when they had no idea what a 'traditional' Christmas pudding actually was, (clear as mud even written here to those in the know,) proved to be impossible, so I just told them they were chocolate based, and the Florentines were caramel based, and the trees were...."Wow they look like flowers.  That's amazing".  I smiled and retreated to my office.


"What are the pretty flower things", was the second comment that proved failure on my part, although there was little time to explain the initial concept before it was demolished by one of our servers.  The other treats were consumed in just as much as a hurry!  Taste ruled the day, and I sat back content.

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standingTuesday took on a slightly different slant.  We went to the radio station to see Anderson East in a live broadcast.  It was, as usual, great fun, with lunch provided!  We enjoyed the show, and the lunch, and managed to get front row seats!  We even managed to get a parking space right outside the station!  "Can I see your ID", asked a lady as we walked in.  The question was posed to Samantha, as there was alcohol on the premises, and a wrist band was required for those over 21 wishing to consume.  "Do you want to see mine?" I asked, in jest.  "Oh no. That's okay....oh well if you want", she said, thinking that I was upset!  After the performance, we had our photos taken.  "Love y'alls hair", he said to each of us.  That took away the disappointment of not being ID'd!  "I look like I am grabbing my trousers", said Samantha.  "I am posing like my mother", said I!

Mince pies were made on Wednesday, and an explanation was needed once again. "No it is not meat, as in steak, or hamburger, it is fruit.  I have no idea why it is called mincemeat.  It is a fruity base'"  No one needed a second explanation, as even Samantha, who is not partial to the delicacies as a rule, enjoyed her second!  I had made 'mouche bouche' size, so two did not seem to be excessive.  I took some to Joe, and his staff were quite pleased to have 'English breakfast!'

The weather went from cold to freezing, to warm, to cold and we walked every day.  

"I think it would be nice to make some mince pies for Hannah and Sandra", said Samantha on Wednesday afternoon.  I agreed that would be a lovely gesture and let her know the quantities for the pastry.  "Actually, what would be good is if you could make the pastry, and I could make them when I come to you in the morning". 

Image may contain: foodWe were late to work on Thursday.  Samantha rolled out the pastry, put the dough in the tins, and put stars on top, once I had filled them.  By the time I had finished cleaning the kitchen, the pies were ready to be eaten.  She felt satisfied that because my mother considers the 'rolling' of the dough to be the most tedious of tasks, she could take the credit for the whole thing!  Whom am I to argue!

I made another batch of 48 on Friday, albeit mini size again, and left the office with four!  The Fed-ex man said he had been plied with all kinds of treats, but none like those he was given at our office!  Suddenly, the Englishwoman was Queen!

Saturday morning started very early. We left my house a little after 8:30, and went to San Marcos, which is about 30 minutes away.  The mall opened at 8, and when we arrived parking was still fairly easy.  Starting in Victoria's Secret, we worked our way across to the store with the 'tick', and looked for shoes for Ollie, and tops for Richard.  By the time we exited, the crowds had developed, and the road rage was in its infancy!

The rain started shortly after we arrived, and started to become torrential within minutes.  We were, for the most part, under cover, but had to cross the road.  I need the 'banos', I told Samantha before we went to the next store.  "And I really want a hot chocolate".  Starbucks was in sight, and whilst I am not a fan of their coffee, they do make a very good hot cocoa beverage.  "I will get the drinks, while you go to the banos", offered my daughter, with not a hint of a Spanish accent!  I met her in the cafe and we walked out with a beverage a piece!

Shopping at Abercrombie is always a challenge.  All I wanted was fragrance.  Three salespeople were standing folding garments (which is surprising for the store that is usually a mess!). I stood at the counter.   A fourth person was on the phone.  I raised my eyebrows in an attempt to get the fourth's attention, and she signaled to her colleagues.  A young man came to my rescue.  He went to the back of the store, and returned, empty handed.  "The manager is giving a skype interview, and doesn't want to be disturbed", he said. "But I only want to buy some cologne.  I don't need to make a complaint", I said, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. It appears that the manager was in the room where the cologne was kept, and access was not permitted.  "What if everyone came in for cologne?" was my question.  A challenge too great for our young man!

We traveled along to another store for some boots.  "Can I help you look for anything today", came the request.  "Probably not" came the answer.  It was approaching eleven, and I had already come to the end of my tether.  "I wish Edward was here", I told Samantha.  "Today really would be a moaning mother-in-law day.  I want to go home".  After several messages back and forth with England, we left empty handed and returned to see if the 'manager' had finished his interview, and if the fragrance centre was now open!

Once again, the young man was challenged.  It appeared there was an offer that went with my purchase.  Selected products could be purchased for $20.  However, he thought this was not an option.  "What do you want for your 20% discount.  He was corrected by his colleague, who told him that it would cost $20, rather than discounted 20%. He then said, "What do you want for $20."  He was messing with the wrong person, on the wrong day.  He found it quite difficult to understand that an 'offer' was not an 'order'.  "Word of advice", I said to him a I was paying.  "If ever you emigrate, don't offer to shop for anyone.  Oh and pull your trousers up!"  His pants were half way around his hips, and Samantha laughed at my comment, adding, "He doesn't care", she said.  "He will care when he falls over when they reach his ankles", I said.  He was oblivious to my comment, but Samantha was 'posting' on her facebook page that although we were not yet half way around, 'mother was talking 'rubbish' to the salespeople.  Good thing they don't understand us'.  

Image may contain: night, fireworks and outdoorPurchases were put in the car, and we decided not to battle the traffic, as the road rage was now 'fully fledged', and the usually placid residents of our fair city and her surrounds, had lost all patience.  We went to cross the road to the other section of the mall. "Come on, quickly", was the order from my daughter. "I still have twenty seconds.  Stop making me run", I responded, as the clock ticked on the traffic lights.  I had chosen to wear a pair of boots that had seen better days, and they were letting in water!  My feet had become lead weights, and although comfortable, were soaking!

We finally arrived at the Californian store with the bird logo!  "Hi, what are you looking for today?" asked the sales assistant, as we were barely over the threshold.  "Zip up hoodies", I said, hoping to save some time.  "We have these. They don't have zips though.  And these, but they don't have hoods....".  I thanked her and said I would find my way around!  Trying to find the right sizes was a challenge, but I managed to walk out with some wares.  "Phone number", came the order.  "No", came the defiance.  "Whatever" was written across the teller's face.  No time to argue today!  "Email receipt?" came the question.  "Paper", came the reply.  If they were English, the next response would have been in the region of 'flippin' 'eck', but we were in Texas, and a sigh with eye rolling was what took place.  

The rain was continuing to pour, and we had to leave the comfort of the covered path once again.  Two English women and not an umbrella between them!  How we had failed!  

"If you fill this tote bag, you can get thirty percent off everything!" said the very excited saleslady.  "You mean, if you buy the tote bag, and everything you put in it, you will receive 30% off your entire purchase", I corrected.  I was, once again, not understood, and the blank stare suggested that I had repeated what I had been told. I did not go into details!  It would not have been rude to do so; I probably would have come across as being rude!  The sales assistant at the cash desk could not quite understand why Samantha did not want to purchase the tote bag, when she could receive a thirty percent discount.  Again, trying to explain that the one item she was buying did not warrant the purchase of a tote bag she did not want, was redundant.  I could not take on the task of being a personal shopper and a mathematics teacher in one day, especially this one day!

"You look like you need a massage", came the comment from a young man, young enough to be my grandson!  Realising, totally relieved, that he was a salesperson for a specific piece of furniture, that apparently was therapeutic, I told him that I did not have time!  Perhaps he could offer it to some of the salespeople whom I had unintentionally offended!  I just wanted to go home!

Finally, we arrived back at the car, loaded up the boot, and left a vacant space for a dozen cars to fight over.  Samantha showed that she was the daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter of London cabbies, and maneuvered the car around to exit the mall, maneuvers of which would have made them all (including myself) very proud!  

Image may contain: 1 person, drinkHeading back to Austin, Elton John came on the radio, singing his "Step into Christmas" song.  We lightened up, clapped and sang.  "Good ol' Elton", I said to Samantha, as we regained a little bit of energy.  "He is like a cup of tea!  Totally refreshing after a hard day!" As we headed for our second stop, Barton Creek mall, we negotiated the traffic between us, with me giving her the benefit of my experience on the road I take back from Joe's.  "Don't move lanes yet.  Not yet. Not yet.  Okay now!" 

It was raining when we got out of the car.  We were parked at the wrong end of the line of cars that led to the entrance.  By the time we walked into the building, a 'drowned rat' would have looked mildly damp in comparison!  

We stood at the counter deliberating on how many bottles of moisturizer to get for my cousin, who had requested the purchase.  We 'pinged' her in order to get a response, much to the dissatisfaction of the rather more posh saleslady than we had been used to.  Trying hard not to sigh, she looked at us with contempt, and I finally gave in and bought one bottle.  Without actually saying, "Okay, you can go now", I was given my bag and change with the same attitude.  Obviously, job satisfaction is not a perk!

The 'Apple' store restored my faith in humanity!  Never failing to impress, I leave the store both in awe and terror!  "What can I help you with", was the only problem I encountered, and that was merely grammatical!  I could not really fault it! (Considering I have many errors in this post alone!)  Samantha told her what it was that she was looking for (see!) and we were directed to a table.  Within a minute, we were connected with a salesperson, who punched some buttons, and asked us to wait.  We did.  Then someone else appeared with the goods, we paid, and rather than have to go and line up at a cash register queue, each of the tables had their own cash box, so we were in and out within ten minutes.  They actually apologised for the delay.  I was in awe at the efficiency, overall politeness and use of technology; in terror, due to the use of the use of technology, and thinking, 'wrong hands!'  Used properly, this is changing the world.  Not used properly and this is changing the world.  Still, that is a different soap box!

We left the mall, using taxi-driver maneuvers once again, and arrived home at 5:30pm.  I had made up new words for a lot of Christmas songs, not least of all, "It's the most wonderful time of the year"!  All orders had been fulfilled, and I was ready to go to bed!  However, it was only half past five, and we decided to go out and have dinner before going to sleep!

Next year, we have decided that all orders have to be in by July.  In fact, we may not even take orders.  However, we say the same thing every year, and every year, we come home exhausted but manage to find the whole thing rather laughable...by July!

The rain stopped.  Dana and I enjoyed breakfast, and then came back to sit at our respective computers.  

I am not cooking today.  I am packing!  My mother has decided that she is 'recovered' enough to host Christmas Day dinner at her house, and I am supplying some disposable plates and cutlery.  This has to be added to my suitcase, as well as all the usual items, and a few clothes for me to wear on my visit!  

This time next week, the Englishwoman Abroad will be at home, in Blighty!  It will not be a 'usual' visit, as my mother is still unable to drive herself, and I have promised to be 'around' more than usual. With that being said, I shall end my week's diary entry with the usual promise of next week's entry being ............. another story!

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