LAUGH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY!

Today, I am going to focus on 'anything other than'.  This week has reminded me of a little witticism my father used to tell.  Two doctors meet each other, and one says, "You are fine, how am I?"  The 'fist pumping, elbow nudging, head shaking, hand waving, nose crunching, ear wiggling' greetings sound more like an old Pepsi advert, than a way to greet people.  (For those under the age of thirty, sorry, but you missed it!)  Suffice it to say, I am okay, and I hope you are too!

My washing machine arrived on Monday afternoon.  I sent Dana home to 'deal' with the delivery, as due to various technicalities, the installation would have to be 'completed' by the purchaser.  He would also have to rehang the bathroom door, as it had to be removed in order to get the new appliance into the room.  All very complicated, and being a lady (yes, I said lady) who would rather a man do these kind of jobs, (yes, I am being rather controversial today,) because I don't want to, rather than I am unable, I stayed at the office to take care of business!  Although the installation did not take long, the 'cycle' which had to be run, took fifteen minutes, and once complete my husband was able to return to his desk!

My washing machine was not the only thing to break.  My mini-steamer decided to 'pop' (no connection to the lipsmacking, thirst quenching beverage mentioned above) and I found myself dealing with my own crises.  (Yes.  I am being very selfish!)  Although washing machines and mini-pressure steamers are not normally an invigorating topic of conversation, they have been rather a welcome alternative!  (Back to controversial!)  The gentleman promoting these little dynamos told us (I am certain) that they came with a lifetime guarantee.  Of course, I did not have my receipt, as I bought the item a few years ago.  Having bought one new appliance within the last seven days, I decided to take a leaf out of the book of Scarlett O'Hara, and opt for a sabbatical. "After all, tomorrow is another day!"

I returned home on Monday evening, and set my new washer to work.  I was not happy.  It washed, it rinsed, it spun.  It did everything a washer should do.  The only problem was it was not my old washing machine.  Gone are the days when I felt excited at getting 'new things'.  A new dress, pair of shoes or a hat (especially a hat) has a certain appeal, but a new appliance does not warrant such zeal.  After all, I doubt anyone would comment, "Wow, love the washer", or "Where did you get the junior blaster. It really suits you!"  Admittedly, the washing machine did not dance as if it were listening to 'Let's twist again', and did not sound like Lulu in the opening chords to 'Shout'.  Perhaps, in time, I would get used to it!

"How do you like the machine?" asked Samantha on Tuesday.  "It's okay", I said, nonchalantly.  "Wow", said she.  "Progress".  The remark was seen as positive.  I had spent most of the morning cleaning out the spare bedroom, and taking my final 'odds and ends' back to their previous habitat.  We drove into work and wondered what the day would bring.  

Although I was extremely busy, I decided to tackle the 'steamer' problem.  The 'positive feedback' that I had apparently given my daughter, had given me a modicum of confidence.  I could do this! After a little bit of research, I was left with two options.  Spend a lot more on a new one, or write to the company.  I chose the latter.  Explaining that I was 'totally lost' without my little 'junior blaster', (dramatic, but true,) without a receipt I felt so helpless, what could I do?  (Sounds vaguely like another seventies song!)  I was quite sure the gentleman promoting the machine had told me (and those around me) that this came with a lifetime guarantee.  I felt it prudent to add this.  Pressing 'send', I had no option but to wait.  

We ate dinner on Tuesday evening, discussed the work day, and watched a film.  In the middle of the movie, I remembered where I had put the box for the steamer.  I rarely throw things away, including packaging.  I do not keep every box.  Last year's cereal packets, for example, would not be housed, nor would empty cardboard receptacles holding silver foil or parchment paper, but I do tend to keep the boxes containing electronics, and the like.  Despite trying to be optimistic, the pessimism of, "What if it has to go back?" remains forefront in my mind.  After the warranty has expired, I usually discard the box.  However, I digress.  The box for Junior was in my cupboard, together with instructions (yes, they go in the box, as I only read them in an emergency!) and a little card with a guarantee date of two years. I had bought this in 2017.  "But the man said....", I announced, pouting like a child who had just been told I could not have something!  I decided to wait for a response from the manufacturers.

I drove over to Joe on Wednesday, and enjoyed coffee.  Everyone was in good spirits as well as good health.  I washed my hands before getting coffee, out of respect to my host, and surroundings, but was told this was an unnecessary action.  Do I usually wash my hands when I step into the roastery?  Am I roasting?  I was listening to my own rhetoric!  After lively conversation, a lot of laughter and a great cup of coffee, I reluctantly left for my nail appointment.  It was not that I went reluctantly to my nail appointment, as the conversation and company are as delightful, but spending time with Joe in the coffee shop always puts things into perspective, and should I not already be in one, puts me in a better frame of mind!  Michelle painted my nails beautifully, and despite a disagreement on technical terms, with Michelle suggesting I go for a contrast of glitter and not, and me being that three year old again, pouting and saying, "But glitter is my favourite colour!", my appointment time was most pleasant! (Previous statement stolen from the painting on her wall)  I chose colours that are traditionally 'Mardi Gras',, but as I told her, no one is around to see them, so who cares!

"Those are Mardi Gras colours", said everyone as I waved my fingers around for all to see at the office.  I cared not one whit!  My nails sparkled.  

The email received from the steamer manufacturer contained a request for either three photographs or a video of the 'affected area'.  The whole thing was the 'affected area'.  It didn't work!  I chose to take a video, with my phone.  Now, I will be the first to admit, that whilst I strive for perfection, there are some areas that I know I will never succeed.  Taking a video with my phone could be my downfall.  I would not be surprised if this thing went viral!  (Please, no pun intended!)  I placed Junior on a box, did a 360 pass around, lifted it to show the base, and depressed the tab to show no steam. It was very shaky and it ended with me trying to turn off the video!  I did not edit.   I downloaded the film, attached it to the email, and sent a brief explanation as to what it was I was sending.  The email from the manufacturer had also explained that it may be necessary to return the item for further inspection, and analysis as to whether it was a 'guarantee' issue.  See!  I did need the box!  Maybe!  I sent the email with a 'thank you' for the quick response.  

Wednesday night dinner was made, guests were fed, and the washing machine continued to work satisfactorily.  

I spent most of my Thursday morning, before work, cleaning the

spare room, which was more dusty than I had first thought.  Obviously, my continual entry and exit during the 'expelling of the popcorn' had taken its toll, and the movement of the plastic protection had caused particles to fly in all directions.  The room formerly known as 'the abyss', (Samantha's old room,) was not as bad, as I did not have to go in and out with such regularity.  When we arrived at the office, I told Dana that whilst I did not particularly want anyone to come and stay, at the moment, we were once again open for business!  No, I am not running an airbnb, or a bed and breakfast!  I would not have time with all the 'catch up' I have had to contend with!  After all, although I have a new washer, I was going to have to clean without Junior!  It was a horrible thought!  It is amazing to think that something that sat in a box for six months, being starred at and questioned, "Why did I buy you", is now a vital part of my domestic routine!  

"Please provide full name and a mailing address for shipping label", said the email from Junior's 'people'.  I did.  I was so pleased I found the box!  Feeling a little smug, at first, I started to wonder whether this was going to cost me more than buying a new steamer.  However, Scarlett prevailed.  Think about it tomorrow!  I had other things to deal with.  Grant had taken off for a long weekend!  I had forgotten a time without Grant!  His positive attitude along with his impeccable work ethics, make all our lives so much easier.  Of course, since his arrival, the Englishwoman who answers the phone, once again knows nuffink!  "Well let me speak to Dana", was the response time and time again.  Whilst there are some people who know I know, I am long past taking offense.  "Why didn't you ask Tracie?" says Dana.  "Well she's....she's...".  Hmm, English?  "Well, yeah!"  My husband is always gracious, but lets them know, I know.  Perhaps if I said, 'wadder' or 'budder' I would be taken more seriously, but those words never seem to come into play when talking about the Texas rules of civil procedure!  

I received email after email about what 'new implementations' companies were now following, and email after email regarding cancellations of events.  Despite the high temperatures, the sun did not shine.  The email with an attachment from Junior's family arrived.  I could not see the attachment.  I searched, but it was not there.  I was about to reply with a question as to how much they thought it would cost to repair, would they let me know before repairing it, and was it cost effective, when I saw it was not an attachment at all.  It was a tracking number.  Without much questioning at all, they were shipping me a new model!  I was ecstatic.  Mostly, I was ecstatic because I was getting a new Junior, but almost equally because of the service and honouring the promise of the promoter.  It was my ray of sunshine.  I told everyone in earshot, and messaged those that were not.  What a week.  Almost liking (or perhaps just tolerating) my new washing machine, and a replacement steamer.  Now, can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture?  Yes, I know it is me!  But....this is all there is to get excited about!  (Yes!  Cynical!)

Despite rumours of 'lines' and empty shelves, Samantha and I went

shopping on Saturday.  Apart from eggs, (which I could have bought if I had wanted to pay more than usual,) and wet wipes (which are now a luxury item) I got everything on my list.  Actually, there was one other item.  Chilli-Lime Panko crust shake and bake.  Rather than a shortage, I think that the manufacturers have stopped making it!  I will substitute with something less exotic!  We stood in the queue to pay for half an hour, and laughed with the ladies who stood behind us, as they too were wondering, "What's with the bottled water?"  Honestly, I get the being in 'self-isolation' for a month, and being prepared, but unless there was a call for a mass of baptisms, a pile as high as some people were buying, would last into the next decade!  The sell-by date would expire before that much was used.  Sorry!!  I promised I would not talk about it!!  I have a new Junior Blaster steamer arriving next week.  Yippee!!  (Need water for that!)  I have a new washing machine!!  Okay, I stand corrected!  Water is vital!  But that much?  Failed again!  New subject matter please!

The homeless man to whom I give bananas and the likes was sitting on

the corner as we left Walmart.  He smiled when he saw us.  It was good to brighten someone's day.  I was just glad there were bananas!  (Not sure why bananas.  Someone told me once....). Edward spent a good deal of time at our office on Saturday afternoon, hooking up a new system for us.  In return, we took both him and Samantha (couldn't leave her at home) for dinner.  It was a really fun evening.  The restaurant was not very busy when we arrived, but there were many people arriving when we left.  This is Austin, y'all.  

The roads were empty on Sunday morning.  It was raining.  No swimming today!  Instead I may take on the mammoth task of cleaning out my 'shed'.  What an exciting life I lead.  So, the moral of this post is that we can laugh in the face of adversity, and I hope that many will do this.  Not because 'no one cares', but because everyone cares!  I have a new washing machine, Junior is on his way, and I cannot do a thing to stop panic and mayhem.  The sun will come out tomorrow (even if behind clouds) because, "After all. Tomorrow is another day!"  Thanks, Scarlett!  

I will end with a smile, which I hope you can feel, rather than see.  Perhaps there will be something of more substance and frivolity to writ about in ....another story!