FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS!

Feeling slightly more human on Monday morning, I set about my regular tasks with a modicum of robotics.  I went into auto-pilot, and managed to complete said self imposed tour of duty in record time.  I would imagine that it is my lack of energy that causes a lack of imagination, which keeps me focused.  I felt as if I was in the middle of a vicious circle as I have to feel unwell in order to get things done in a timely manner!

Storms, storms and more storms were on the menu for the week, and my thoughts of perhaps starting to swim at lunchtime, instead of walking, were out of the question. Walking was quite an ordeal as breathing was still an issue, but I refused to give in, and by the time I got back to the office, I was exhausted, but a little bit fitter!  

Late to work on Tuesday morning, due to a culinary disaster, that turned out not to be a disaster after all, I settled down to work.  My new computer was working, but it was not the old computer, and I had to retrain to find all the command buttons.  It is simple once you know how, but then again, questions are easy if you know the answers!  The solution to all my problems was quite simply to 'restore to original default', and not on my computer!  It was a simple mind renewing process which took a little while, but I was soon functioning on all cylinders, and back to my normal self. This brought forth renewed energy and vigour, and a determination to stop wallowing in the doldrums.  After all I had plans to make, contests to enter, recipes to try.  Grant came out and told me, quite sheepishly, (apparently at Dana's suggestion,) that I could not have my coffee, as the beverage was a privilege for those who got to work on time.  I called him an 'obnoxious git'.  He put my coffee on the table and went back to Dana.  Laughter emitted from the office of the boss, and I walked back to see what was causing the commotion.  "You called me a pregnant camel?" said Grant, mentally making a note of the word.  "Is that an English word?"  I explained that it is not as much an English word, but used in England as insult, and I had many more in my repertoire.  I felt as if I had been completely restored!

Perhaps, when I set the reset button on my hard drive, I should have clicked the option to remove sarcasm.  There is nothing that revitalises me more than a call from a solicitor who attempts to convince me they are who they are not!  The English accent came on strong.  "We are renewing the cables in your area and need to come in to talk to you about it".  Why?  Do I need to lay them myself?  "The new lines with make your calls higher quality".  So that means I will not get scam artists?  "The new lines will mean a faster, more secure, more efficient Internet service".  Ah.  So my Internet will be faster.  My pages will load quicker.  I will be more efficient!  Excitement grew in the callers voice. "Can you confirm how many lines you have?"  I insisted that if they were who they said they were, they would know the answer.  "Well I thought I could get a head start while your details loaded".  Could we not just wait for the details to load?  (Reader.  I now refer you back to the 'more efficient Internet' quote.)  "Oh we can, it is just that my system is running so slow.  It is taking forever for your details to load".  Hmm, perhaps you are not using your own system.  "Huh?"  And the call ended.  Perhaps the manual should be rewritten!  What a fabulous dose of medicine!  It was more pleasant than an espresso, more boosting than an energy drink, more focusing than a ailment!  I was now, definitely, back!

Traffic was at a standstill on Wednesday.  Accidents had apparently been happening all over town, and there was no rain!  "I am not sure what was in y'all's orange juice today", said the radio presenter, who was giving a report on all the 'fender benders'.  Perhaps they had been on the phone to the 'providers' for the phone companies!  It took me nearly an hour to get across the river and to Joe.  The journey back was much quicker, but the accidents were still plaguing the roads.  One toll road had been closed completely! As I do not use toll roads, this was of no consequence to me, but of course, many people rely on the speed and efficiency of such lanes. I smiled as I whizzed past the cars on my left, stuck in a long line, on the toll lane.  Perhaps I had reset my factory specs a little too severely!

Thursday saw the restoration being completed.  "Congratulations".  A spot in the lounge at the radio station.  "How?" I was asked.  "I am the eternal tourist!"  If I remain the 'new guy' (or gal) and continue to think of myself as a foreigner, then things will always seem new! I enjoyed being a tourist in London, so why not here.  There is always something new to see!  My daughter was experiencing her own 'new life' problems.  She had a nasty bump on her arm, that was rather itchy. "It is not a bite from one of those things". (A spider.)  She was quite insistent, as her phobia would not allow her to 'go there'!  However, the symptoms, and puncture marks would indicate that it was from one of those things.  It is always amusing to me (although amusing is not always the most apt word) when I step on something sharp, and I look for a critter rather than a tack or a piece of glass.  As we were told during our first few months here, when we suffered reactions to mosquito bites that were very severe, "This is Texas, y'all!"  

Grant was still revelling in the fact that he had learned a new term, although I told him that he should refrain from using it around English people whom he did not know, in particularly directing it at any one person.  We concluded that the equivalent insult in 'American' would not be the as cryptic.  He wondered if he had been insulted before, and did not recognise the slur.  I just smiled.  He laughed!  I am most grateful for his sense of humour, and the fact that he does understand irony!  

Friday was (for the week) the 'creme de la creme' day!  Samantha came running out of her room, with her phone in her hand, and told me that I had to be part of a video!  We have been entering a contest to have lunch delivered to the office, and whilst I have been entering on line (which apparently is not the way to enter, but instructions and me have a history!) she has been watching out on Instagram.  I am not sure what she did, but she was committed to the task.  Having watched me for the past few years, it is not unreasonable to think she may want to 'have a go' herself!  She had received a message, asking her to send a video saying why she wanted pizza for lunch.  Of course I obliged.  Using her phone, we framed out faces with the special effects, and made a few recordings, with our voices sounding like cartoon animals.  It was sent.  The video appeared on the Instagram page.  We sat and waited.  Nothing appeared to be happening.  The excitement about having lunch delivered was beginning to wear off and we continued with our work.  

Samantha's face was a picture, as she showed me the next 'post'.  "We are heading north", said Gossip Greg.  We calculated the time it would take to get from Jets Pizza to our office and looked out of the window as each minute ticked by.  

The Kiss FM van drove past our entrance, and we knew that whether they found us or not, Samantha was indeed the winner!  Her phone pinged and she sent back a message explaining how to get to our suite.  Soon, we heard voices, and "There she is", as my daughter was standing holding open the door.  In walked Gossip Greg, and 'D.J. McCrae', carrying a large black bag, with another smaller one.  "I feel as if I know y'all.  Have we met?" said Greg. I told him that we are regular visitors to the radio station. "That's it!"  he shrieked.  I whispered to Grant.  "We are famous.  Gossip Greg knows us!  And...he still has not stitched up his trousers.  Should I offer him a needle and thread!"  Yes.  It was that guy! "Oh my goodness!" came the shriek as G.G. saw Sparks, Samantha's dog.  "I will swap pizza for a puppy.  Fair trade!" he said, as he scooped the dog up into his arms.  Sparks showed no resistance.  G.G. has two dachshunds, and was brought up with the breed.  "How's training going?"  he asked, tongue in cheek.  "He is a dachshund!" I responded, and we all laughed, as only dachshund owners, and trainers, would as they are somewhat resistant to any kind of 'order'.  As all this was taking place, 'D.J. McCrae' was attempting to get the pizzas out of the large black bag.  Six large boxes were placed on the desk, followed by three bottles of soda, paper plates, two bottles of ranch dip, and plastic cups.  All this with a dozen packets of knives and forks.  G.G. then 'facetimed' his mother!  "Look!" he said, and paraded the dog in front of the phone. "I am taking him home", he said, and then his mother was introduced to the office.  The excitement continued, as photos were taken, and Greg attempted to leave with Sparks in his arms.  "Never work with children or animals," was such an apt quote to use at this time!  

Our afternoon was not complete until I won another prize.  Life was back on track!  However,  despite the fact I may seem obsessed, I simply enjoy the thrill of the chase, and if I catch a fish, so to speak, it is the icing on the cake, to mix a couple of metaphors!

Saturday was a strange day, with rain dropping in bucket loads for a couple of minutes, and then stopping.  Dana and I went out for dinner and sat on the patio of Z-Tejas, and enjoyed watching the sun set.  

My week was complete with a beautiful Sunday, and the chance to spend the afternoon reading and swimming.  I did find the swim a little tough, as I am presumably still recovering from last week's ailment.  I did doze for a while, but I heard a strange sound and jumped up in a hurry.  It could have been part of my dream, or it could have been an animal.  I am not sure, but I did search around my seat.  I did not see a snake nor an arachnid, but I did hear a frog.  I can cope with frogs!  

The remains of the pizza were distributed, and the selection that made it back to my house was demolished.  What a rebound was the week!  I look forward to next week with a healthy anticipation, and await ............ another story!