I watched, as the man in the white truck sat and ate his lunch. It seemed like a viable prospect. He had come to deliver my unit (perhaps) and decided to take a lunch break at this time. He would maybe (maybe) call when he was finished. I watched as he folded the silver foil that contained the now consumed morsels, and put it back in a little black zipped pouch. He then looked at his clipboard. I checked my phone. I was about to go and ask if he had my delivery, when he promptly drove away.
Obviously, I could not prove it was my delivery man, unless I had the proof, so I called the number that had contacted me and was second in line to be answered. Apparently, my call was very important to them, and it would be answered very shortly. For eighteen minutes my call was very important to them, and for eighteen minutes I was number two in the queue. Goodness knows what complaints number one had, but number three would have an extremely long wait, and number four should probably have hung up and tried again the next day!
As the eighteenth minute came and went, I ended the call as I received another one. It was a rather abrupt female, with an accent from one of the north 'New' States. She called me by name, and asked if I was aware that I was expecting a delivery, to which I answered in the affirmative. She then told me that I was 'not in' when the delivery guy called. "Oh, you mean the delivery guy who sat in his truck, outside my house, ate his lunch, and then promptly drove away?" Instead of backing down, she went into full attack. "He called, and you didn't answer!" I responded that he had not called, texted or come to the door. He had sat in his truck and eaten his lunch, then drove away. In retrospect, perhaps I should have gone to see him, but then I was uncertain as to whether he was my delivery guy or not! Again, the attack. "You know," as if I was on trial, "I can check his phone log and see that he called". I sighed. "I hope you do!" I said, taking back the ball and heading towards the touchdown line. There was a slight pause and then I realised, I had scored! "I can reschedule for you. When are you next working from home, ma'am". The 'ma'am' was almost courteous. "So he can't come back now?" I asked. "No ma'am". No apology, but again, the 'ma'am' was almost courteous.
It was a little chilly, and I was feeling rather unsettled. I cleared up the garden, somewhat, pottered around and was restless. I was a little peeved, to say the least. However, I managed to pull myself together and continued with my day.
The email on Monday morning did not contain a 'ma'am' aspect. It was very much to the point. "Delivery failed!" Actually, there was no exclamation mark, but it did not need to be there. The email told me that because I had not been at home to receive said delivery, I would now have to take my return back to the store. The second email was the oil on the fire. It asked me to review the service I had received! I called the number on the screen. As I was waiting for a response, I started to enter some projects that had been received. Most were lawsuits, which contained the first line, "You have been sued", and continued with words like "lawsuit". I thought of how my husband often mentions, when challenged by someone who is not happy at being 'served' and threatens legal action (mainly because they have just been threatened with legal action and are rather cross at having been the recipient of a document that starts, "You have been sued) that they are welcome to go ahead, as he has several thousand attorneys in his database, one of which was probably the party guilty of filing said suit against the person who is making the complaint! All these thoughts tumbled around as the woman to whom I was speaking told me that I had not been in when the delivery guy arrived. I reiterated the scenario. She was adamant, although with a softer accent. I would have to take my damaged goods back to the warehouse. I reiterated the scenario. "Why didn't you go outside and ask the driver, ma'am?" This 'ma'am' was accusatory! In my most polite, English accent, I told her that it was not my job to see if the driver was for me, but for the driver to see if I was for him, in a roundabout fashion. She indicated that the circumstances were irrelevant, and that the delivery had failed. Period! I would have to return my damaged goods to the store. Then out it came. All the jumbled thoughts that had been floating around in my head for the past fifteen minutes, amalgamated and formed into a very succinct sentence. "Not before a law suit, I wont!" There was silence. "Hang on. Let me see. (Clicking could be heard.) Oh, I can redeliver on Tuesday if you like". I would very much like. Thank you!
I was rather surprised at my outburst, but it seemed to put a spark under the lady on the phone. She checked my details, and hung up.
The first text came through around seven in the evening, quickly followed by the second. The first package would be arriving between 3am and 7am. The second between 11am and 3pm. Really? I called the number on the text message. The 'ma'am' this time was a polite, "How ya doin'," type of 'ma'am'. "No ma'am, there will not be two deliveries. It will come as one. It will be the later time." I was rather relieved, and said that my husband had remarked, "You are kidding!" The lovely soft accented lady laughed. "Ma'am, if someone comes to your door at 3am, do not answer it as it will not be us!" I thanked her and we wished each other a pleasant evening and said our cheerios!
Again, I tried to call the truck company, but after twenty minutes, decided this was not going to work. I would have to wait to see if I received a call from the driver. I checked my phone, several times, rang it to make sure it was taking calls, switched it from ring to silent and back again, to make sure the ringer was on, and when 11am rolled around, watched like a hawk! The call did come through. "We are about five minutes away", said the driver.
Putting together the cabinet was quite the ordeal! "The instructions are wrong!" said my husband. "This bit does not fit!" he continued. "There is a bit missing!" I laughed. Despite having put the first one together in a reasonable amount of time, the second did not 'gel' quite so well. We took it apart, and started again three times. However, all's well that ends well, and it stood empty but complete!
I wanted to call someone and say thank you, but did not relish the idea of hanging on the phone for half an hour. I wanted to call Ikea and let them know that the company they use for delivery is not responsive, but thought it would be futile. I would probably be told I had to come into the store and write a review! Instead, I sat back and admired our handywork!
The week continued, and the temperatures dropped considerably. We had an 'almost' freezing morning, and Saturday started out cold and went colder. Samantha was hosting a 'friends giving' dinner, and our shopping trip was going to have to be a 'hunt and gather', rather than a leisurely stroll. We arrived at Walmart, ticked off the items on our list and headed back out to the truck. "Where are the keys?" she asked me. I didn't have them. They were not in her pocked, and she did not have a bag with her. She managed to open the door with her phone. (I don't get it!) We put all the shopping in the back, and she accessed an 'app' to see if she could locate the key fob. It was not 'pinging'. We checked all around the truck, went back inside and retraced out steps. I went to 'customer services' and enquired as to whether a bunch of keys had been returned. They had not. I found my daughter, hovering around the freezer section. "It says they are here. Signal's strong". Then the signal faded. We walked around, and I went back to 'customer service' to say that the keys were not a 'bunch' but a key fob, a 'poo' key ring (embarrassed at using the word 'poo' at my age, let alone the fact admitting my daughter has one for a keyring) and a small key for a small box. The lady said that they still had nothing but took my number and said she would call. After about an hour we went back to the truck, where she phoned the company that can 'get you out of trouble' if you are in trouble. They could not locate the keys, could not let her drive home to find her other set, but could open the doors and start the engine, but it would stop as soon as she put the truck into gear, as the keys were not present. They could have her towed. She called back. What if someone finds the keys and goes around the car park pressing the fob, finds the truck and drives it away. "Ma'am, you will have to call the poh-leese" came back the answer. I tried hard not to laugh at the accent. The 'ma'am' was one of great sympathy. Almost heartfelt. I called Dana and explained the situation, and asked if he would come and get us to take us back to her house to get the spare set of keys. "Yes, we have checked around the truck. Yes, we have re-traced our steps. Yes, we have been to 'customer services'. Yes, we have looked around the aisles." We returned to the store, and Dana arrived a while later.
Edward was on his way back from a meeting. He said that his phone was saying that the keys had recently been moved, and were by the 'customer service' desk. We went back inside the store. The nice lady at the desk said that nothing had been handed in and that she would call if they were. Everything pointed towards the customer service desk. However, I could not accuse the lady of lying. I had watched her search the drawer. It was the only place they could be, apparently.
The tow truck was several minutes out, and Edward arrived at the store. Dana and I headed out to Costco to buy some items for my daughter, including a couple of chickens, as the turkey would not be cooked in time! My phone rang. "The tow truck is thirty minutes away! I called and said they were twenty minutes late, and the lady said they were stuck in traffic. Didn't I see the traffic? I said I didn't as I couldn't get my truck started as I had lost the keys and had to get it towed! Don't forget the pies!" My daughter was not happy! Edward had gone back inside the store to check around, again.
The second call, from my daughter, was two minutes later. "Don't forget the chickens", she said, quite animated. The tow truck was apparently, imminent. I told her I was on my way to get the chickens. As the third call came through, I shouted, quite loudly it would appear, as several people looked around. "What now!" I exclaimed as I went to answer my phone. "It's a Christmas miracle! They found the keys!" I am still not exactly sure what happened, but it appears Edward returned to 'customer service', asked again, then stood there, no doubt with phone in hand, and 'pinging' said keys. He said it was because he winked at the assistant. I am not so sure! I know Edward! The lady said she would check out the back. They were there. We can only assume that someone found them, the store person who had them was delayed in getting back to 'customer service' (the reason for them being 'on the move') and eventually took them to the back. Whatever the scenario, the keys were found!
My maternal instinct set in, and I made a macaroni cheese, and roasted potatoes, as I knew my daughter had a lot to do, with guests arriving around six thirty, an uncooked turkey and the time being five o'clock by the time she got home. Mother to the rescue! Dana and I arrived with pies, fruit platters, vegetable trays, mac and cheese and what turned out to be rather yummy potatoes, even if I do say so myself. The guests arrived a little later, as they had been appraised of the situation, albeit not the details as of yet, and the dinner was a great success. We had a lovely time!
"We have a housekey and car key" said the lady from Walmart when she called Samantha on Sunday morning. My daughter thanked her for her call, but said they had found the keys at the back of 'customer service' yesterday. I suppose no one bothered to tell the person with the phone number that they had been found. However, it was very nice of her to call!
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