I decided to buy a couple of plants to discourage these nasty little critters, but they seem to have an aversion to playing the game. Instead, they think it's a game of 'Texas Hold-em', and have drawn these nasty little beings into their lair, only to pass them out when they think a better card is about to be drawn! My Citronella plant has grown up into a rowdy teenager, spitting out as many obscenities as it can, which have attacked my legs from the knees down. Someone suggested that 'catnip' was a good alternative. That too is being obstreperous and contrary! Last weekend I decided on a different course. I bought two (not one, as I had high hopes) Venus Fly Traps. The 'natural' way to get rid of flies, and stuff. Obviously, (although fascinating,) not kind to flies, it is 'natures way', and whom am I to argue with nature! Both (not one) are either allergic, or terrified of flies! Perhaps the latter, as the flies (any kind of flying being) torment the 'traps' by literally hitting them and then running away! Fascinating it is not!
However, as always, there is a silver lining to a cloud. Instead of eating the leaves, and fruit in my garden, they are eating me! Each time I add a perfect tomato, or pepper to my salad, I eat them with the knowledge that the foliage was not harmed, with a smile on my face, and a fork in both hands. One fork to shovel the food, and the other to scratch my legs! Okay, so I don't use a fork, but as I am chewing, I am scratching away at the latest round of bites!
Of course, I can use topical solutions to take away the irritation of the bites, just as I tried natural solutions to take away the irritation of the 'disingenuous eaters', but nothing works particularly well. Ice packs melt quite quickly, and my only real alternative is to digest an anti-histamine tablet before I go to bed. However that, too, has its disadvantages.
The rain was supposed to 'move on' by Monday, and the forecast was quite clear. However, during our swim, (yes, Matnee has decided to accompany me in the water,) the skies turned a dark shade of purple, and the rain started to pour. It was quite the cloud burst. "I am getting out, so I don't get wet!" announced my daughter, as I was finishing up my last couple of laps. I love swimming in the rain, and if it is warm outside, then it just adds to the enjoyment. I completed the round and we splashed our way up to the condo. Raul was laughing at us dripping, and announced, "It was not meant to rain!" I wanted to reply, "And fly traps are meant to trap flies", but that would have been irrelevant to him, and I had not the time to explain!
The rain did not last for very long, perhaps an hour, and then the ground started to dry, and the steam started to rise. I could almost hear the irritating disingenuous eaters plotting their next attack. I wondered if the rebellious teenage plant and its catnip sidekick had hatched any plans for my return that evening. With the short, sharp downpour, I would not have to water anything, so my time in the garden would be short.
My sign in the ladies bathroom was also being ignored. "Ladies, please flush, and if necessary, flush again!" Subtle, but we are 'ladies' and I thought a more genteel approach may be more effective. Someone, obviously not a genteel lady, had either not read the sign, or could not read. The latter is probably more likely, as children do tend to use the 'ladies'. I contemplated adding to it. "Or if you are illiterate, I provide reading classes'. I was in 'one of those moods'. I realised that if the person using the facility was illiterate, the second sentence would be completely redundant!
I returned home on Monday evening, and decided to take the half tablet to help with the irritation that was now becoming quite debilitating. I had a swelling on my ear lobe that prevented me from wearing earrings, (serves me right for bending down and talking to the citronella plant,) one on the other ear just above the lobe, several on my legs and arms, and one on my torso! Sometime in the small hours of the morning, my husband developed cramp, ran to the bathroom, could not maintain the weight on his foot and headed into the wardrobe doors. Thankfully, it caused no more than a loud bang and nothing broke, (wardrobe, as well as on my husband, although my immediate thought was for the wardrobe door,) but it caused me to wake suddenly and run to the area from where I perceived the noise had come, and see what I could do to help. Once I ascertained that my husband had come to no harm, (after checking the wardrobe,) I swerved and nearly fell myself. My husband's initial concern was for me! (Our priorities appear to differ.) I could not maintain balance, nor coherency, as I was quite under the influence of the half tablet I had taken earlier. This is why I do not take them during the day! As a child, my mother would feed them to me as a 'cure' for hay fever, and I would be like a rag doll. As an adult, I fair about the same! The problem lies in the fact that they work quite well! All the modern day alternative that 'contain' the vital ingredient that is purely this little yellow pill, have little or no effect on me. However, I digress. I felt as if I had been drugged, had a hangover, and was completely unable to move. I crawled back to bed and promptly fell asleep. When I woke the following morning, it was if I had not slept at all!
The only creatures that did not seem to cause me any problems were those who are actually dedicated to the month. The June bug is rather a strange creature. In my experience, which is hardly vast, this little beetle seems bent on destruction. It seems to be able to swim, but not for too long. They are constantly found in the filters by the pool, but no matter how far I take them from the water, they appear to want to return. Obviously, after a while, they will expire, as they are not aquatic! I am sure they are not related to the lemming, but they seem to have the same personality, at least in my (hardly vast) experience. The main thing is that they do not swarm down on me and peck at my skin. At least that has not been my experience! I can cope with June bugs. No doubt they are a pest to some, and no doubt if the rebel citronella plant found a way of replicating the mating call of said beetle, it would, and they would be swarming around the handkerchief, infesting my placid children, who actually want to be nice! I am not sure whether the catnip would join in. I have hope for the catnip. After all, teenage rebels often grow into the pillars of our society! The citronella on the other hand appears to be out of control. A couple of stints in 'borstal', (young offenders institution,) would probably not coax it out of its unruly attitude. However, it is a plant, and I can fight back! As of yet, it appears to be happy with just housing mosquitoes!
I was most upset when I saw my wilted tomato plant on Wednesday. It had been hot, and the leaves just looked singed. I starred at the citronella, but knew it had no influence. I watered it, gently coaxed it, and although it took a couple of hours, it fared better than me on my half an antihistamine tablet! By nightfall, it had come back to life. I felt a pang of guilt for not taking more care of this child, but knew that my lesson had been learned.
As it seemed there was nowhere to land on the parts of my skin that were unclad, I wondered whom the mosquitoes would attack next. However, although it looked as if there was no space, there were vast deserts of unpunctured epidermis that had not actually been infiltrated. As a new bump appeared, I wondered, "How?" How did it find the area in between giant hills, and no dales! It was like a fairground game where the hammer bangs the protruding polls, only to have two or three more pop up around it! I sat and scratched, and applied ointment, delayed taking another pill, and bit my lower lip to the extreme. I screamed, and squeaked, and kicked and punched, to try and stop the irritation. Ice packs, and wraps did little to stop the itching. I sprayed the 'most effective' of sprays, everywhere!
an end. I sprayed myself before going out into my garden, to water the obedient plants. The snack peppers that had formed in green were changing to a bruised purple, and then turned red almost overnight. I was boring all my neighbours who showed an interest, although all said that they were heading off to the garden centre, when they saw my little crop that was looking as if it would yield a small, but substantial harvest.
The irritating disingenuous eaters continued to ravage. I watched them fly around, waiting for me to step foot outside the door, and then as if it was some delicious elixir, slurp the spray from my arms and legs before starting the main course! The prize for me, of course, is the fruit and vegetables that are growing.
Saturday morning started early. I stood and looked at the cucumber plant that had grown almost a foot over night! It was seeking new places to wrap around. Samantha put a pole upright along the fence when she dropped me off after shopping. By the time I had returned from swimming, the antenna had already started to curl around, and form a stable rooting. From small acorns, giant oaks grow....from two tiny plants, eight foot vines have formed. I am very excited! Can you tell?
The rain appears to have left us for the foreseeable future. Temperatures are rising and the morning swim no longer starts with the chattering of teeth, and sharp intake of breath. The water is soothing on the skin, and the solution that Charlie, our pool guy uses, is wonderful for the irritation. "It's just baking soda", he told me a few months ago. Baking soda is perfect for irritation!
No doubt the June 'B.R.I.D.E.,' will disappear in due course. There will come a time when they will move on to someone else. I cannot be their prime target. Of course, there is always an alternative if I think there is a conspirator! I can always give away the citronella plant, but that would be cruel! (Not to the plant!)
My patience is being tested with all the flowers still in bloom, waiting for them to die and produce fruit on some of my plants, but I am doing much better than I thought. I cannot do much else but wait! One or two tomatoes at a time is not ideal, but I am sure more will grow as the season progresses. I shall continue to water and watch.
Next week may be more of a challenge, as I have to take the car back to the dealership for some 'call back' work, and I have a couple of other things to take care of that are not in the usual scheme of events. My patience will be further tested, no doubt, but this gardening binge that I have right now is helping me adjust. Who would have thought it! No doubt I shall have some more produce to display in .... another story!
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