OUT OF SERVICE!

I spent an amazing Sunday evening with friends, last week.  I managed to get online to send a few messages to say I was ‘back home’. Judy and David, my friends from my teenage years, asked me to join them for dinner.  I gladly accepted.  It was, as always, a wonderful evening.  Dawn, my friend who now lives in Australia, was also there, and Sally, whom I have now known for 45 years, was there too.  It seemed a little strange to think that my teenage years started that long ago, but time and tide, etc. 

My internet appeared to be a little volatile.  I knew that my ‘dongle’ was reliant upon the strength of the signal in the area, but up until now the little device had been rather consistent.  My usual ‘3G’ signal was not showing, and it connected on ‘2G’, and the signal failed shortly thereafter. 

Dawn and I had arranged to meet on Monday morning, and we kept to the plan.  Although we had spent Sunday evening together, it is so rare that we are ‘back home’ at the same time, it was a good opportunity to make the most of our time on the same continent!  As we enjoyed coffee and catching up with all family news, my mother was calling my phone.  It was not an emergency, but I realised that the ring was not loud enough for me to keep the device in my bag if I needed to be contacted.  She had called the hospital as she had experienced bruising on her hand, and little blisters had appeared.  They had suggested she come for a checkup, as she is on a new medication regime, but she had no way of getting there without me, and as it was not an emergency, she decided to phone again tomorrow. 

I came home and had lunch with mum who was thankfully not particularly perturbed by my inability to take her to be seen by professionals, before heading back out to meet Steph.  Ollie was going to be fitted for his first pair of school shoes, but before the grand event, both he and Jamie were going to have their teeth checked.  I went along to be part of the experience.  My younger grandson was making everyone laugh, by waving and saying “Hello” and “Bye”, which was causing my elder grandson to seek attention.  Between them, they entertained the other patients, before going in to the surgery.  Both received glowing dental reviews, and we then headed into Watford. 

We were running a little later than anticipated, so I did not go into the shop to check why my ‘dongle’ was not connecting properly.  Instead, we went to get Ollie’s shoes.  It was just another pair of shoes to Ollie, and another reason to sit still, but to his mum and grandma, it was another milestone! 

Home I went and had dinner with my mother, and spent the evening watching television.  Soap opera stories were now totally alien to me.  I knew not the characters, and the story lines were not familiar.  It was a little liberating to think I was no longer addicted, but knew that if I stayed for long enough, I would get re-hooked. 

I should have taken my computer to the hospital, as there was an internet connection.  I did take my phone and was able to send a couple of messages, to let everyone know that emails and other social media communication would be intermittent. 

The car had been parked, and I was sitting waiting for a doctor to see mum.  “I didn’t bring a drink with me.  Does that machine have some boiled water?” asked my mother, who has a ‘reaction’ to tap water, and only drinks H2O that has been boiled.  I went to the coffee machine.  The cups were prefilled with either coffee, tea or chocolate powder, and a couple had savory beverage granules.  I found a small bin, and threw away the coffee, which seemed to be the easiest to discard.  I then rinsed out the cup.  However, I could not see where I could put the water.  “Where should I throw the water?” I mouthed to my mum.  She shrugged her shoulders.  The window next to the machine was slightly open, and I looked round to make sure I was not being watched, then poured it out onto the pavement below.  Of course, I had not checked to see if anyone was outside looking up and made a quick retreat.  Boiling water squirted from the tap into the cup, and I gave it to my mother.  “You could have poured it into the sink”, she said, pointing to the basin on the other side of the machine; a basin she failed to point out when I stood with a cup full of water! 

After a little while, a doctor came along and introduced herself, then showed us into a little room.  She was very thorough and asked mum lots of questions.  They would take some blood and see if there was any reason to change her medication dosage once the results were through.  After the blood was taken, I went and got the car, and brought it to the unit, where mum was waiting at the top of the ramp.  The results were no need for concern, we were told later that afternoon.

Dinner was prepared, and eaten, and I took myself over to Richard’s for the evening.  Ollie and I played for a while, and then he went to bed.  Richard and I had an hour or so just enjoying each other’s company, and then I went for a swim with Steph.  Another couple were in the ‘slow’ lane, and they swam a couple of laps then stopped to talk to another woman who had just entered the pool.  Twenty minutes went by and they were still talking.  “At least he can tell his doctor he was in the pool for a good twenty minutes”, I told Steph, as we wondered why they bothered to use the facilities! 

“Message me when you get home!” Steph told me as we left the pool.  How the roles have reversed!  It was rather a nice feeling to think that my daughter-in-law cared about my welfare!

Wednesday was all about an adventure.  I drove into Watford and picked up a few things that were on my list, and then went into the telephone shop to see what was wrong with my ‘dongle’.  Apparently, 3G is ‘so last year’, and my dongle must be obsolete.  The current ‘G’ is four, going to five.  I would need another system.  “I need a pay as you go deal”, I said to the very young assistant.  “I do not want a contract.  I do not want a monthly payment.  I want to just pay as I go when I am here”.  Having heard Steph tell Ollie to use his “listening ears”, I was tempted to use the same expression.  “We have this package, where you pay a small monthly fee….”.  I stopped him.  “I just want a pay as you go deal. I don’t want anything with a monthly charge!”  He pointed to the next option.  “This is a monthly plan”, he started, and then as if he read my mind, continued speaking very quickly, “that you can cancel at any time”.  I smiled.  “I do not want a monthly deal of any kind.  Simply a pay as you go programme!”  He sighed.  “Last option is this device.  It is £69.99, but it comes with a free £10 voucher, and you get blah blah blah gigs of data, and ………..”, the rest was just words that were of no interest.  “What about the money I have just put on this card?” I asked.  “Hmm.  I suggest you call the helpline.  Maybe they can give you a discount”.  I felt as if I had been fobbed off, and left the shop wondering whether to purchase the expensive device or not!  I chose the latter and headed to Steph.  Ollie was waiting for me as I arrived.  We were going to see his daddy and have lunch. “Would you like a little adventure, and go on the train?  Or would you like a BIG adventure, and take a bus and a train?”  There was no contest.  The big adventure won!  We walked up the ‘mountain’, went through the ‘forest’ to the main road and crossed to get to the bus stop. “Naw, you need the one on the other side”, said the very helpful man.  We crossed back and ran to the bus stop as the big red vehicle was approaching.  I enquired as to the price. “You have a card?” asked the driver.  I did not.  Again, I asked how much it was to Edgware Station.  “I don’t take money”, she said, and asked if I had a ‘contact’ card.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  “So how do I take the bus?”  She recommended I go and buy a ticket from the shop that was next to the bus stop.  We got off the bus and went into the shop.  “Return ticket to Edgware Station, please”, I said to the lady behind the counter.  “You can’t buy tickets here”, she said.  “So. How do I take the bus?” I asked, wondering if we had to walk back through the ‘forest’ and down the ‘mountain’ to get the car.  “You have to use a ‘contact’ card on the bus”.  Oh boy!  “I don’t have a contact card!”  She sighed.  “You can’t buy a ticket”, she said.  “So. How do I take the bus?”  I repeated.  I had to buy an ‘Oyster’ card. “£5”, she requested, which I paid.  I thanked her.  “You won’t be able to get on the bus though”, she said.  I must have looked rather perturbed at this stage.  “Why?”, I sighed.  “Because you have no money on the card.  That is the deposit”.  I wasn’t buying the bus!  Another £1.50 was handed over the counter, and Ollie and I left the shop to wait for the bus. 

Did I mention that Ollie was dressed in his Batman suit?  No, I thought not. Batman suit and PJ Mask trainers that light up when he walks.  I had the bat mask in my bag at the time we got on the bus that eventually arrived  “Are you Batman?” said the driver.  “Yes. And I broke my leg”, he said. The driver looked at him and laughed.  “Imagination.  Ain’t it great”, he said.  Of course, the plaster has been removed and the evidence is no longer in existence, but the broken leg that Ollie suffered several weeks ago, has obviously had an effect.  He tells most people with whom he comes into contact that his limb was broken. 

We climbed the stairs and went to the front.  As we sat down, Ollie told me that we could watch the television.  I looked around.  I failed to see a screen but then realized that the imagination was, indeed, very furtive!  I watched an imaginary programme and then we took stock of the scenery as we drove down a steep hill and saw a view of London, with the Post Office Tower in the distance. The bus pulled into the station and we got off.  I queued to put some more money on my very expensive travel card, and we both walked through the barrier when it opened.  The train came along quite quickly, and Ollie took a seat.  As we came to each station, the announcer told us where we were.  It was repeated by the miniature Batman!  The train continued into the tunnel, and we arrived at our destination. 

Richard was sitting at his desk when Ollie spotted him and he ran into the shop without stopping.  Of course, he was the star of the show, but the Batman suit was removed almost immediately as he was very hot.  We had a very nice lunch and said bye to ‘daddy’ before heading back to the station.  Walking down the steps to the platform seemed to take forever.  The first train was not in service, but the next one came along quite quickly.  We backtracked, and got to Edgware Station where a bus had just pulled in.  Up to the top we went and down we sat.  The imaginary television was turned on and we watched for a while.  The journey was not too long, and we got off the bus and walked back down the mountain to get home. 

I stayed for a while to play but had to get back to my mother’s to make her dinner before heading out for dinner with Lesley.  I called the ‘helpdesk’ for my ‘dongle’ and explained the situation.  “What postcode are you calling from”, said Gary from Wrexford.  I told him.  “Oh yes.  There is a problem.  Has been since 18^th July.  Looks like they put up a mast by the railway station and it is not compatible.”  I was a little perplexed.  “Did they not know there was a railway station there before they put up the mast.  It is not a big place, but it has four tracks.  It’s sort of a bit hard to miss!” said I.  Being back in England, grammar is not a necessity!  I could almost hear the smile at the other end.  “You would have thought they would have had someone check the place over before bringing in the mast”.  I said.  “Yes.  You would”, said Gary.   I continued, “Let me tell you, Gary, anyone living here will tell you that there is almost nowhere in this village where you cannot hear the trains”,.  Gary chuckled. He then went on to tell me that there was another place they could have put the mast but it was by the Civic Centre.  “But there is a tree outside, and the locals were up in arms over anything being done to their tree.  All they needed was a couple of branches to be trimmed back, but they said no!”  I thought of a response.  “So …. I can’t get internet because the engineers didn’t see the railway lines and the locals won’t let you trim back a tree”.  He sighed.  “That’s about it”, said Gary.  “But, the good news is that there is nothing wrong with your ‘dongle’.  Once all this is resolved…..in mid-October …. It should work.  Sorry I wasn’t able to help you.”  Poor Gary!  “Oh but you were”, I said. “You saved me seventy quid!”  We said our goodbyes!

I had a lovely evening with Lesley.  We caught up on all the latest news, reminisced a little bit, and got a little emotional.  Having known each other for more than half a century, it feels like having another sibling. Promising to stay in touch, which we do, we said our au revoirs!

Going to Asda with a Walmart bag was somewhat ironic.  The large superstore was bought by the giant some time ago.  I am not sure as to the structure of the company now, but it made me giggle.  I walked around and satisfied Samantha’s list before sending Beverly a message to say I was there.  As time was short, we had arranged to meet at the store, where we both had business.  I met the lovely Summer, Bev’s first grandchild, after setting up my office in the café, where I opened my laptop and checked my emails.  We had lunch and then I went home!  Steph popped over in the afternoon with the boys, and I made dinner after they all left.  I was rather tired by the time we turned off the television and retired!

I drove to the supermarket on Friday morning, and picked up a few things that I had promised to take home.  Marks and Spencer was beckoning, as one of Samantha’s friends visited England many years ago and thinks that M&S is the place to buy edible souvenirs!   After lunch, mum and I went to another supermarket for different essentials and came home for a cup of tea before going to Steph for dinner.  It was another lovely evening, with the kids, and Steph’s mum and her partner, and we did not leave until past ten.  I was surprised that mum was happy to sit for so long, but she seemed to be enjoying the company.

Saturday morning was quite quiet.  I was not going out until the afternoon, so I took my time in getting ready and enjoyed the break.  After lunch, I went to Janice, Steph’s mum, as she was having a little tea party for Ollie and Steph’s niece, as they share a birthday.  It was lovely to see all the kids playing together in the garden, and I was sad to leave as I wanted the experience to go on forever.  Next week I shall be home and missing my boys. 

I could have stayed in bed Sunday morning, but it was not to be.  Mum walked into the kitchen and announced that there was something on her lawn. It looked like a dead weasel, but when I went to look, I saw it was a fish!  Yes, a fish!  About a foot long, and two to three inches wide, the dead creature looked up at me with his eye.  It was impossible for anyone to lob it over from the back of the garden, so it must have either been dropped by a very large bird or caught by a cat and dragged across gardens.  After breakfast I went into the garage and got a shovel.  I opened the garage door, lifted the lid on the bin, and went back the other way to scoop up the fish.  The bugs that had been feasting had managed to devour the head!  I ran it out through the garage and into the bin.  “Yes!  A fish!” my mother told my sister.  “Yes! A fish!” my sister told her partner.  “Yes!  A fish!” my mother told her carer. 

Mum came with me to the shops and stayed in the car.  She had given me two lists.  She wanted some items from one deli and some from another.  “What size do you want?” asked the assistant when I told her what I wanted.  I ran back to the car.  “What size?” I asked my mother.  Back I went into the shop.  “Do you want the regular packet or the vacuum packed?” asked the assistant.  I ran back to the car.  “Regular or vacuum packed?” I asked.  Eventually, I left the first deli and headed for the second, where I completed the order for lunch!

“Yes!  A fish!” I told my niece when she came in and my mum told her of the morning’s events.  “Yes!  A fish!” she told her husband when he questioned the validity of the story.  “You were right.  It was a big fish!” said David, Elise’s other half, as he came back into the house, having taken the bin to the edge of the driveway for a collection tomorrow. 

After lunch, Elise and I cleared away the dishes, and sat for a while before she left.  I had a good long conversation with my cousin Lesley, as we would not have time to meet, and then sat with mum before going to see my boys.  “Yes! A fish”, I said, as the story was repeated to Richard, Steph and their friends.  “What sort of fish?” one asked.  “A dead one!” I responded.  I am not very good with species!

The day came to an end, and so did another week.  I packed away a lot of my essentials.  Richard spent the evening with mum and me, and he filled me in on all the latest news about his friends, whom I have known since they were little, and all of whom (with perhaps the exception of one who will forever remain a Peter Pan) are now men, with families of their own.  It was such a special evening.

With only a few days left to enjoy the family, I am starting to feel the pressure.  I will be glad to get home and see Dana and Samantha, and of course, Edward and Frank, but I am starting to get withdrawal symptoms.  All I can hope is that the homeward journey is not filled with the same characters as those on the outbound!  Across the Atlantic I shall go for …………… another story!