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Sunday, April 8, 2018

WHEN IN ROME.............!

At the risk of a 'variation on a theme' or even 'Deja vu', I am probably going to repeat myself in this post, but 'It is what it is', and what 'it is' is Texas!  "How d'y'all like living in Austin, ma'am?", asked the car salesman, as he took us for a test run.  Although he was only talking to me, he used the colloquial 'y'all' as most do.  'Y'all' is like the word 'sheep'.  It can be for one, or for many!  So how do 'I'all' like living in Austin.  "I love it, y'all!" 

Yes, I live in Austin and the highlights by far outweigh the low-lights, and the good times by far outweigh the bad.  

Admittedly, last weekend, I would have preferred to have been working, if not living, in England, as the extra long weekend, and two four day weeks, were very appealing.  I had to work on Good Friday, and also on the Monday that is known at home as 'Easter Monday'.  Here, in Austin, it is just a Monday.  It was, however, rather quiet.  As mentioned, after the 'policing' of the car park last week, I had felt prompted to go and make peace with the people in the next building.  It did not mean that I was going to give them permission (like I had the right to give 'them'all' a pass) to park in our lot, but I felt it did not warrant the possibly belligerent attitude
(slightly belligerent, in my opinion, not necessarily y'alls) that I had displayed.  The attitude was surmised as being belligerent, moreso because of the accent.  It melts, or it freezes.  It is like 'Marmite', you either love it or you hate it!  "Marmite?" y'all may well ask.  It is a spread, made from yeast extract, which I have probably mentioned on more than one occasion, which is (in my opinion) one of the most versatile food products on the market.  It can be used for all manner of 'fixins'.  (Another word that is used abundantly!)  However, I digress.  The accent has power!  However, I digress for a second time.  I felt prompted to go and make peace!  

Monday was quiet.  As this year took its first steps into April, things start to wind down towards summer.  Schools are open, but the seniors in college are on a slow path to graduation, and the traffic seems to get lighter.  The lights in the lower level of the building next door did not illuminate, and I watched, waiting to put the finishing touches on my 'peace offerings'.  Their car park remained empty, and ours was not anywhere near full.  

"Can y'all help me?" asked my office neighbour.  A new occupant had moved into a room on the opposite side of the hall.  I am not too sure  what'all a 'sports' therapist does, but they occupy the space that was evacuated by a chiropractor.  I had given my usual, "Anything you need, or are unsure about, don't hesitate to ask" speech, and the receptionist (and I am ashamed to say, I cannot remember her name, and have been too proud to ask again) has taken me up on my offer.  "How d'y'all open the trash?"  I was tempted to say, in my usual sarcastic nature, "We don't open trash!  We throw it away", but oddly, I knew what she meant. I offered to walk with her, across the car park, to the communal dumpster, and show her how to unlock the padlock.  It is not hard, and the code is simple, but it has been set upside down!  She was very grateful, and apologised for bothering me, and for constantly coming across to ask questions.  I told her that I enjoyed having visitors, and that it was no problem.  I would imagine that it is because of our constant presence, that we'all are the 'go to people' in the building, but I find it interesting that the foreigner is the one to whom everyone 'goes' to accomplish the fixins!  

I waited for a respectable amount of time before taking across the goodies which I had created on Tuesday.  Walking through our parking lot to the adjacent building, I was given a sneer by those going into the upper floor of the building.   Admittedly, I had stood at the base of the slope leading from our front door, and watched as two cars came up the driveway by the side of our building, drove slowly through our lot, and hesitated.  Turning the wheel slightly as if to go into one of our spaces, they saw me standing, and presumably thought better of it.  I walked down the stairs and into the rather lavish open-plan office.  I was greeted by my very first victim.  After explaining that I would rather not have animosity between us, but a friendly co-existence, she accepted my gift graciously, as did her colleague.  We exchanged a few brief sentences expressing frustration at the parking situation, before she peeked under the silver foil wrapping.  "Wow, they are so priddy", came the explanation.  They were, indeed, rather 'priddy', even if I do say so myself and I was rather sorry that I did not take a picture.  I had swirled some lemon cream on to the cake and finished them off with blueberry 'fixins'.  I was satisfied that a truce had been made and although I have no plans to invite them to my next soiree, a reasonably friendly relationship has been established!

Joe was having a problem with his roaster on Wednesday morning.  I told this to Dana, who was concerned for his friend, and the business he may lose.  I told this to Samantha who immediately laughed, as he had chosen to take the sentence as an innuendo.  Of course, she knew it was not, but our humour still differs from those around us.  "What's funny?" asked Dana.  We did not explain!  

"North West of London", was the reply to the oft asked question. "I thought so.  There or Australia", came the response.  The person on the other end of the phone could obviously not see my expression.  "Any particular part", I wanted to ask, referring to Australia, but I did not. "Y'all talk so priddy." Me or the Australian?  

As hot as it was on Friday, so it was cold on Saturday.   The temperatures dropped to just above freezing, and the thought of wearing shorts and flip flops were as far from my mind as was Australia!  Jeans, boots, and a jacket!  The hat is a constant!  The wintry showers persisted, and I am sure I felt a snow flake on my nose.  The regular Saturday routine was accomplished, albeit backwards. We started at Walmart, in the hope that we could 'snap up' another couple of dressing up 'animal heads' for the boys!  We did find another shark head, so that there would not be any room for fighting over the one we bought for Ollie last year. The Easter 'left overs' were being cleared for the 'Mother's Day' items, and all the 'Fourth of July' banners and regalia were adorning the shelves.  By the time we made our way back to Costco, the temperature had dropped again.  One brave warrior had on shorts and flip flops, and some did not wear jackets.  The best 'tamales' were featured on one stand, with 'grilled cheese and cinnamon budder'.  "Cinnamon budder?", I asked Samantha, refusing a sample of the presumably new found delicacy.  "I don't make the rules!" she said, "I would rather have Marmite on my toast", I responded.  "But you like Marmite", came the next sentence.  "You don't like Marmite.  You love it....or hate it!" I continued.  We found that someone was starring. We often find people starring!  We are not sure as to whether they are bemused by the conversation, or are just trying to decipher the dialect!

"Where y'all from?" was the question.  "All of me is from North West London!" I responded, perhaps a little too sarcastically.  "Thought so.  There or....".  "Australia" we said in unison.  "You goddit" came the reply.  

And so we go back to the beginning.  I was one told, grammatically speaking, that although a sentence should never be started with an 'And' or 'But', there are exceptions to the rule.  If my mother had moved here with me, she would probably have had everyone speaking the Queen's English, and in a way that is grammatically consistent.  "There is no such thing as 'bad grammar'.  It is 'grammar' or it is not!"  I still hear that sentence each time I tell Dana, his grammar 'aint no grammar'.  However, I digress.  And so we go back to the beginning.  "How d'y'all like living in Austin, ma'am?", asked the car salesman.  We were on a test drive, and he was making small talk.  When he asked if we were originally both from the Austin area, Dana told him that he has been here for many years, but I certainly was not.  "Y'all haven't heard her talk", he said.  I failed to respond.  "She", (and I would add that here referring to someone as 'she' does not constitute the response, "Who is she, the cat's mother", although it would be "Who is she, y'all,,,) and he took a breath, wondering if I was going to interject, as is my usual practice.  "She is from London".  The salesman was  somewhat surprised.  "Really.  So what brought y'all to Texas, ma'am?"  Oh how I wanted to respond with a variety of sarcastic comments, starting, ending and 'middling' with 'y'all did', but simply said, "He did.  Fourteen years ago".  "I love it", I responded to the original question.  The silent 'y'all' was held back with extreme resistance.  


As we were on the 'south side', we had decided to go for dinner at the Cracker Barrel restaurant.  If there was a vote to adopt a 'capital' of the land 'Y'all', this would be a contender.  Not a barbecue restaurant, but a 'Home style, home fixin', restaurant.  Good ol' southern cooking!  Home style biscuits (sort of scones).  Home style 'sawmill' (white) gravy.  And (using the exception to the rule) probably my favourite, 'Chicken fried steak, with all the fixins'! (The word 'fixin' would have to be in the Constitution of the land 'Y'all'.)  "Howdy, what can I get y'all to drink".  Once we had a chance to peruse the menu, it was then asked, "What can I get y'all......Biscuits and Gravy with that y'all.....grits and hash brown casserole y'all?"  It was "Yes" to 'y'all'.  I wanted cornbread.  I don't do biscuits!  Just like cinnamon budder on grilled cheese sandwiches, the rules are not mine, but I can break them.  "Maple syrup in yer them there grits, ma'am?"  Heck yeah, y'all!  Dinner was a bit of a disaster.  The young lad whom served us was not having a good day.  We'all were most patient.  The manager was doing her 'rounds' and noticed that we were pondering.  "Everything good here, y'all"  No-all!  But (using the exception to the rule) it could be fixed, if we had all the fixins!  

We left the restaurant satisfied.  They finally got the order correct, and it was not a 'big deal'.  The food was good, and the company was wonderful!   We'all (two of us) laughed our way through.  

How d'y'all like living in Austin, ma'am?  If it is this 'ma'am' to whom y'all are talking. I love it!  Of course, if all my family were here, and Marmite was readily available, it would be perfect, but I know there is an exception to every rule!  

We are still looking around for another car.  No doubt our short list will get shorter and I have a feeling we will stick with the same make and model that we already have, but we will try not to let the tedium get us'all down.  Instead, I shall embrace another Sunday in Austin, and bid y'all a good week, which I hope we are fixin to have, and I shall keep all stored in the container which will be ....... another story! 

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