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Sunday, October 15, 2017

THE FACT OF THE MATTER!

I started to read a 'new' book last Sunday.  As we are reaching the end of the 'swimming season', I was conscious that I may not finish it until next year.  Having started one the previous Saturday, I thought I had timed my summertime leisure activity rather well.  With maybe a couple of weeks left to take advantage of the pool and a modest time of relaxation, before the days when I force myself to swim as the temperature dips, but have to race back to get dressed, as it is too cold to 'sit', I calculated the amount of pages, divided them by my usual speed, and came up with the total of three weeks.  I failed to take into consideration the author, and how addictive his books can be.  Instead of the six days I had allotted, I finished in less than three.

Last Sunday, the water was most inviting, and after my 'prescribed' amount of laps, I sat myself on the chair, having saturated myself in bug spray, and started to read.  The new book was also rather intriguing and whilst I am not as familiar with the author, I found I could not put it down.  Moving further and further along the edge of the pool, from chair to chair, I read and I read.  Fiction it was, but as always, in most 'thrillers', there was an air of possibility, with an edge of probability, and perhaps even a 'truth' weaved into the storyline.  The characters names are always announced as 'imaginary', but I often wonder, (having written a thing or two myself, in the fable area,) whether they are based upon anyone, even loosely!

Fiction was on the menu for the week.  We have been receiving calls claiming to be from a social media site.  The first caller asked if they could have our 'opening' times.  Without giving the question much thought, as it was a generic question, I gave an answer.  The next question was asking about operating procedures and staff.  It was then that I asked 'Who is calling'.  I told the caller that I was not interested in updating information on a site where my details are not listed!  I waited not for the reply!  The phone hardly had a chance to disconnect before it rang again with the same display.  "Hey, can you tell me your opening hours?" came the cheery voice. I asked who was calling.  "Heather", came the reply.  "And where are you calling from, Heather?" I asked, attempting to confirm that she was from the same entity.  "From my desk, um in my office", came the reply.  Confirmation!  "And where is your office, Heather?" I asked, wondering what the next answer would be, "In California", she announced.  Once she finally told me her reason for calling, I repeated that I was not interested in updating my information on a site where we were not listed.  

The temperature on Monday was rather pleasant, and I came home at lunchtime to swim, although reading was not on the agenda.  We were very busy at work, and I stuck to the regimen of pure exercise and return!  

Considering Monday was a national holiday, and the postman had the day off, it was extremely busy.  Columbus Day, or Indigenous People Day, (dependent on where you live dictates the name - I live in Austin, and the city council voted last week that it should be the latter, whereas my daughter lives in the next county over, so her postman receive a day off for the former,) does not cause the closure of the courthouse in our county!  Therefore, no matter the name of the day, we are open for business!  Our hours are the same as always, should anyone wish to update a listing that does not exist!

It was too cold to swim on Tuesday.  The temperature dropped considerably, and I took a short walk around lunch time, just for a change of scenery.  The phones were surprisingly quiet during the morning, but the afternoon saw a flurry that would have turned a few snowflakes into a blizzard!  Once home, I set about making dinner.  Instead of taking a few minutes between flipping the meat on the grill, to catch up with a bit of fiction, I spent the time sorting through paperwork that I had brought home from the office.  Mashing potatoes and reading used to be an oft enjoyed pastime, but times have changed, and the past is in the past!  I had hoped that a few fictitious characters would have appeared during the day, and cleaned my kitchen, as I had made some pastry in the morning. Despite wondering, as a small child, a to the validity of 'The Borrowers', and the 'Brownies', I now know that they are no more than someone's imagination, and wonder why, as parents, we set our children up with such notions!  (I jest of course!)  

Respite was enjoyed on Wednesday, as I took myself to Joe, and enjoyed a cup of coffee with him and Gail, before heading across town to get my nails painted.  It was as if I had never deviated from my routine!  I sat as I watched Michele, my genius nail technician, transform the ends of my fingers from mere skin covering to brightly coloured works of art.  I could have become a fictitious character, right there and then, known for my disguise as 'Elaborate Nail Lady'.  (Woman is so 80's!)   Instead, I drove back to work, with a detour to the supermarket to retrieve some bagels and croissants, not wittingly attempting to exploit my new pseudonym, but managing to get a few, "Wow, your nails are amazing!"  Just call me En-el!  I doubt the name will catch on!  

I had prepared dinner before leaving the house in the morning, and as I arrived late, I did not go for a walk, and a swim would have been out of the question!  The phone rang during the afternoon, and the display showed the name of the well known social media site, being used as a front for a fictitious entity.  This time, the creators of fantasy had developed a new approach.  "Hello, I need to come and see you, so can you tell me your opening hours?" said the voice that emitted through the speaker.  "Normal working hours", I said, in my kindest, sweetest voice.  "But I have a restaurant and I want to know if I can have some papers served, and I want to come and see you".  This was rather an elaborate ruse, but I was willing to play along.  "Where is your restaurant?", wondering if they even knew my location.  "I can tell you when I come to see you if you let me know your opening hours".  I repeated that they were normal office hours.  Obviously, there is a reason why I need to verbalise the exact time we officially open and close our doors, as this appeared to be of no use to the caller.  When I was informed that their restaurant was in fact 'downtown', and when asked, 'where', there was a pause before they answered, 'Austin'.  I repeated that we are officially open during normal office hours.  "What is the name of your restaurant?", I asked, but I was informed that all could be discussed face to face, if only I would furnish them with the details they required.  I told them that I was not willing to do so, and suggested they find someone who would!  No sooner had I clicked the off button did the phone ring again and the display showed the same name.  "Hey, I need to know your office hours".  My response was, "Why?" and the caller became speechless.  Once he regained his composure, he reluctantly told me that he was from a particular social media site, wishing to update my profile.  "But we don't have a listing on your site", I said, honestly.  "Oh, okay!" he said, and we hung up, presumably at the same time!

I did not have any time to read on Thursday, nor Friday.  The work of fiction that I am enjoying was looking more and more likely to enter hibernation before completion.  My pseudonym did not get a chance to appear, nor did any of the characters that are supposed to come and tidy my house, but I did get one more phone call.  "Can I have your opening hours?" was responded to with, "No!" and a replaced receiver.  This appeared to be the only answer needed, as more than twenty four hours went by and another call was not received.  I would imagine that my number has been placed in the 'hold' category, and may meet up with my book in some fictitious non-space!

Saturday was a beautiful day.  The sun shone, the temperature rose, and I went to the shops in a summer garb!  Elaborate Nail Lady whisked around the supermarket, with elegance and speed.  My new disguise must have worked, as I was recognised by no one!  I came home and got ready to spend an afternoon with my book, in an effort to delay the inevitable hibernation!  It appeared that the dog, who was in Dana's charge during the morning, had walked in some newly laid tar which had been spread on the car park at the office. His feet had been washed thoroughly, but not before he had managed to 'spread the joy' on my bathroom mat.  Even En-el could not remove the tell-tale signs, and summoning The Borrowers or the Brownies would not have made a difference!  Harsh chemicals would have to be my solution, and I cannot think of a fictitious way of making that sound any better!  

I did manage to put a good dent into the amount of pages remaining to read, and there is a remote possibility that the book will be retired before it has to go into 'winter mode'.  I moved along from chair to chair, and finally gave up moving, when a dark cloud prevented the sun from emitting as much heat as was necessary to keep me comfortable.  Sitting in a wet costume, (swimming, rather than pseudonym,) can become rather uncomfortable if the temperature is not just right!  

Dana and I went out for dinner, and then on to Samantha and Edward's house, as my daughter was hosting her own birthday party!  It was not, thankfully, a costume party, as it was last year, but I was in character, as always!  We stayed for a couple of hours and then left the younger generation to their own devices!  

Once again, the weather has dictated that an afternoon by the pool is out of the question, and the turned down page of my book will stay in place for the foreseeable future.  This proved to be slightly advantageous as I have to prepare a cake for the belated birthday celebrations at the office tomorrow.  Although I like to think of it as more of a work of art, than fiction, I have to be less than factual when my daughter asks, "Did you make anything for Monday?"  Fact or fiction, I shall continue onward in ............. another story!

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