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Sunday, May 25, 2014


The jokes were flying!  My retaliation to the comments that having my wisdom tooth removed had made me less wise, was that I would now be just slightly below genius!  However, try as I might, I could not stop myself from doing things that were not quite that of a sensible adult.  

I felt a lot better on Monday morning, and came into work ready to take on the world!  I took care of some cleaning up and then went outside to throw away all the 'left overs' that had not been discarded the previous week.  To make my trip to the dumpster a little easier, I thought it would be very sensible to put them all in my bin/trashcan and take that to the dumpster.  Samantha followed me out with the other bins, and I pulled up the large flap and emptied the contents into the large receptacle.  My daughter was bent double, laughing, and unable to speak.  When she finally caught her breath, she asked if it was really sensible to have the wisdom removed from me, as I had proceeded to throw away the bin as well as the contents!  After composing herself, she returned to the office to collect my 'grabber', the amazing tool I found in the dollar store, which Dana used to use to pick up items that he managed to throw behind his desk.  (He does not have any wisdom teeth!)  My first dumpster dive was at around 8:30 am, the same time as the majority of our tenants in our building arrive for work!

Having retrieved my property, I headed back inside and tried to hide behind closed doors.  However, I was in need of coffee and of course with my being absent from the office last week (or at least at the end of the day) our coffee cups were sitting on the desk, starting their own science experiment!  When we moved office location, we literally brought everything with us except the kitchen sink!  We have made the little storage area at the back of the office into our 'kitchen', but we do not have running water in our office, and have to go to the communal fountain, or the restroom.  As I was in full possession of my wisdom when we moved, I came up with the sensible idea that all dirty dishes could be placed in a bowl, (kept in our kitchen area) and I would take that to the restroom at the end of the day, with a drainer in another bowl, along with my washing up liquid.  Up until this week, this has worked rather well.  There is a lot of hot running water and the area is cleaned thoroughly twice a day.  Whilst most of the tenants rinse out the odd cup, I take a dishwasher load with me after everyone has left.  On Monday, I sneaked along the corridor and entered stealthily.  All was going well, and as I only had two cups and a couple of plates, I did not think that it would take very long.  Just as the soap suds started to rise, the door opened, and another tenant entered.  Attempting to wear the air of sophistication, I stood in my business attire, high heels and pearls, holding a squiggy mop, in one hand and a plate in the other.  My neighbour smiled, asked how I was doing, but did not stop to hear the answer.  I would like to think she was suffering from allergies, or perhaps had received some bad news before coming to the restroom (not that I would like her to have received bad news!) as the snuffly sounds that came from behind the door could have been mistaken for muffled laughter! I finished the washing up as quickly as I could.  Unfortunately, the hot water had increased the influx of soap suds, and as I emptied the bowl of water into the sink, the foam would not disperse, and as I turned on the cold water to try and get it to 'go down', more appeared from the small 'overflow' hole by the rim.  My neighbour washed her hands very quickly and smiled again and then said something that I think resembled 'have a nice day', but she appeared to be choking back tears!  Maybe she did have some bad news despite the enormous grin on her face!  However, I refused to panic at my calamity and proceeded to disperse the foam!  Finally, after moping up bubbles with paper towels, the sink had returned to its reasonably dry state, and I was able to leave.   

Given my outwardly sensible state, it was deemed that I was able to drive without getting into too much trouble. I managed to get to the post office, park the car, exit the vehicle and enter the facility without a problem.  After exiting the post office, I returned to the car and attempted to open the door.  Although I had unlocked it, the door was stuck fast, so I clicked the button on the key once again, and voila, the door sprung open.  I sat down and pondered as why the seat was quite far back, and then looked down to see an absence of pedals.  Fortunately, the person who had stolen all the driving equipment, had replaced it on the other side!  Yes, I had done it again!  Rather sheepishly, I got out of the car and walked around to the other side, making sure no one was watching, although there was nothing much I could do if they were!

As I had forgotten to bring in my toddler food for lunch, I thought a trip to HEB, which is in the same strip as the post office, would be acceptable.  My main objective was to buy some specialty soup, but as I reached the 'wellness' aisle, I thought I would check to see if I could find some 'cherry' supplement for Dana.  (Although nothing has been proven, cherries appear to be a wonder drug when it comes to gout!)  A young girl approached me and asked if i needed help.  The capsules were under 'R' for 'red cherry'.  I wonder if I would have thought to look under that category a week ago?  Conscious that my natural inclination was to put the container into my bag to give me a free pair of hands, as I did not have a basket, I held on to the crimson fruit pills so that I did not forget they were in my bag, and walk out without paying for them. After telling the helpful assistant that I did not need help to find anything else, I found myself wandering along the aisles once again. When I could not find what I was looking for, the only person available to ask was the young lady whom I had told I did not need help!  Apparently, her branch does not sell the speciality soup, but she suggested I might try the deli section as sometimes they have some 'nice stew'.  Now I know she did not think that I needed nutrition, so my assumption was that she thought I needed a little more help than just a supermarket assistant! 

I didn't want stew, so I headed for the cashier's desk and paid for my pills.  As I went to walk out of the store, the teller called me back.  I had forgotten my purchase!  What I said next could have happened to anyone.  'I was so conscious that I would walk out without this that I paid for it and left it here'.  She was very sweet, and smiled, as I took a deep breath and tried again.  'I was so conscious that I would walk out and forget to pay, that I paid and forgot the pills'.  She was very sweet and smiled, again. I wondered if my picture was placed on the 'watch her' wall!  I walked back to the car feeling rather foolish, but managed to get into the driver's side on the first attempt!  I threw the key on the seat, which managed to slip down the side of the chair, and went to place the pill bottle in the ignition!  It is a natural mistake anyone can make!  The key was stuck fast, in the mechanism of the seat and I had to go around to the passenger side, and slide the seat back and forth to dislodge it.  Climbing into the back and poking it with a plastic spoon that was in my bag (to eat my apple sauce, not because I forgot to put it in the cutlery drawer!) seemed to do the trick, and I was able to slide my hand under the chair and pick it up.

I decided to ignore the laughter and ridicule, along with the comments of 'perhaps they can put your tooth back in', and rose above the merriment that everyone found to be so amusing.  I was in effect stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place, as should I say, 'I have always been this way', my 'genius' comment would be of no value.  There was no way that I was going to suggest that perhaps the jokes were not jokes!  Dana had an eye appointment later in the afternoon on Wednesday, and was still experiencing discomfort in his foot.  He had seen an advertisement for cherries, at the local supermarket.  They were on sale!  Instead of $6.97, they had been reduced to $3.97.  As this new found cure for all ailments was sending me into bankruptcy, I got into the car (on the correct side), drove to the supermarket, parked up and went inside.  Cherries were not on sale.  Rather than risk being led like a geriatric, by the arm to the stew, I stepped outside and called the office.  Dana checked the advert again and was adamant, but suggested I should try the supermarket along the road, because it was the one that was specifically advertising the price.   Once again, I got into the car (on the correct side), drove to the supermarket, parked up and went inside. Cherries were not on sale.  However, my husband was in need and I picked up a bag and decided to ask why they were not honouring their advertisement at the till.  None of the cashiers had been made aware of the reduction, neither had the supervisor.  After paying the full price, I went to 'customer services' to complain!  I was exceptionally polite and whilst I understood that the special offer was not in their weekly 'special offer' sheet, (I may be led to stew, but I could still see!) it was on their web page, and perhaps someone should be made aware of the error.  The gentleman (and I use the term loosely!) who was attending to me, suggested I wait by the counter, so that he could go and check his computer.  Although he was not rude enough to say so, there was a distinct feeling that he thought I was 'trying it on!'  He returned after a couple of minutes, and categorically stated that there were no special offers, the website did not show any reductions, and I was very much mistaken.  Despite everything he wanted me to 'have a nice day!'  I was now fairly certain that I was on the HEB 'no fly' list!  I returned to the office, without incident, gave Dana his cherries and went to investigate.  It was not long before I found the advertisement.  All the local supermarkets were, indeed, advertising cherries for the reduced price.  That is, they were all advertising cherries at a reduced price in January 2010!  (Dana doesn't have any wisdom teeth!) 

After some more jokes (and I use the term loosely) I went outside to water the dog, and I managed to complete the procedure without any problem!  Around 3pm, the postman came into our office with an 'Express' package.  As the 'pick up' for our outgoing post is 2:30pm, I asked if he could take the letters that I had prepared within the last half an hour.  He looked at me and said, 'Are you planning to take advantage of me'.  Instead of laughing this off, I said, 'If you will let me!'  I really, really, really meant the post!  I am sure he really, really, really meant the post too, but he stood with a wry grin on his face, and I stood with a very embarrassed one on mine.  'Anything else?', he said with a slight chuckle.  When I replied, 'I think that is quite enough for one day', he just laughed loudly, and trotted out of the door.  I returned to my desk and realised that this was nothing to do with any lack of wisdom on my part, as I have always had the ability to get myself into trouble, verbally, for as long as I could remember!  Perhaps I needed to have teeth implanted!

Fortunately, I was not the only one to be lacking this week.  On Friday the postman had his own problems.  It was not the guy whom I supposedly propositioned earlier in the week, but a new man I had not seen.  Although we each have our own mail box, the postman can open the outer frame to access all.  With his key on a chain, hooked on to his trousers, he unlocked the box.  Apparently, the lock is slightly off kilter, which caused the key to stick fast.   It was with great appreciation that I watched him struggle to remove the key, hitching up his trousers to give him more leverage.  I wanted to say, 'unclip the key', but chose to stay silent, as it as rather refreshing being on the 'other end'.  I wondered if he had attended a recent appointment at the dentist!

I returned to the office and watched until the guy worked it out for himself,  I knew, from experience that he would once all bystanders had dispersed!  

The rest of the afternoon was slower than we had been used to during the week, but it was leading into the holiday weekend. Fortunately, we were able to catch up with work so that we could leave at 5pm in order to catch a plane.  We were NOLA bounds and the French Quarter in New Orleans was waiting, but that is going to be ,,,,,, another story 

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