FELIZ NAVIDAD - I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

Super Saturday was a super success, following an extremely busy week.  My knowledge of Spanish is rather sketchy, at best, but the yuletide felicitation of Feliz Navidad has been on my lips, mainly due to the popular song that is played on the radio, and in the shops, over, and over, and over, again.  This together with Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey, are unfortunately, rather contageous.

Wishing everyone of Latino origin, a Happy Nativity, didn't seem to improve the mood of the shoppers.  Singing, 'Eyeore, eyeore', was also not impressive.  We had travelled to the mall to the south of us, as had many others.  The weather was mild, and the traffic was not our worry, as we had parked behind the shops at one end of the mall, and walked to the other, which is probably about half a mile, if not more, and then back again. 

Nativity scenes were everywhere, as they are all over Austin, in gardens as well as depicted on cards, and window decorations.  However, nowhere in these scenes are there any cockroaches.  I do not have any such decorations in my house, as over the past few years, Dana has been left home alone, and there seemed little point in stringing up garlands of poinsettias, and dotting pine cones around the fireplace.  The lack of such adornment is probably the reason for these less than attractive bugs to have taken refuge in my house.

I am not sure what communication skills the roach has, but whatever it is, it seems to relay that if they want to have a feliz Christmas, they need to come to our condo.  The threat of a very short life, once they have been found, has not been transmitted particularly well, as if I see them, I am less than sympathetic to their plight.  Samantha's other half, Edward, however, does not have the same killer instinct.  As he took a can of soda from my pantry, he quite 'matter of fact-ly' remarked that there was a 'roach running over the cans'.  As dinner was being put on the table, searching out the creature was going to have to be put on hold. 

After some very scrumptious roast beef, we cleared away the the dirty dishes, and started the hunt for our unwelcome visitor.  I was not particularly feliz, as it had been a long day and an additional cleaning job was not on the top of my list of 'things to do' for the evening.  As Dana emptied the cupboard, I searched for some spray, as an immediate deterrent to the problem.  The first bottle I extracted from under the sink was not the right one.  It was the liquid that is used for shining the upholstery in the car.  Why it was under my sink was not immediately apparent, as it should have been either in the shed, or under the stairs.  The reason it was under the sink then became apparent.  It had been wedged between two towels to stop it spilling, due to a broken lid.  There is also a reason why this liquid is so popular, as it is thick and waxy, and should not, under any circumstances, be used on a kitchen floor.  The amount that spilled was probably enough to shine the interior of a fleet of vehicles.  Although there is a common saying that rules are meant to be broken, the golden rule is one that should never be included in the former category, and the golden rule in a situation such as this, is not to spread the offending liquid any further than the spill.  That is why my immediate reaction was to rinse out a towel, and carefully, very carefully, swirl it around my kitchen floor.  Another golden rule is to remove the offending object out of the danger zone.  As I wiped, and wiped, attempting to wash away something that has an immunity to water, I knocked the bottle over, once again, causing a second puddle.

The cockroaches must have thought they had come to paradise, with something far better than a Navidad play.  Not quite Disney on Ice, my skating across the kitchen floor was very entertaining for all onlookers, who were attempting to stop the dog taking part in the show.  The more I washed, the shinier, and more icy, the tiles became, and I was certainly not having very feliz thoughts. 

I am normally rather capable in a crises, providing no one else is around.  I am also of the school of belief that too many cooks spoil the broth, and the soup that was being created in my kitchen was being tended to by one too many chefs.  Dana, ever the gentleman, and always willing to lend a hand, was getting in my way, and try as I might, the lack of patience was shining through brighter than any of my neighbours window decorations.  With the contents of the lower part of my pantry strewn across the other half of the kitchen, I had to hand it to the cockroaches.  If they had a plan to enjoy Christmas at my house, it was working. 

We found the perpetrator, brazenly running around, as the tins were removed, and unfortunately, for him, or her, another Feliz Navidad was not part of their future.  I did not sing with a warm heart, of seasonal joy as I replaced my non-perishables in the bottom of the larder, although noises could be heard exuding through gritted teeth.  No, I did not want any help, and yes, I would be careful of the extended slippery area in my kitchen. 'My' kitchen, I added over the howls of laughter following my first successful attempt at doing 'the splitz'! 

I started feeling somewhat feliz-ier during the rest of the week, and today managed to pack all the recent purchases into my two suitcases, and I was able to slide in a pair of jeans.  I am also hoping that the untimely demise of the ugly bug will be a warning to others, who may convince their colleagues that a nativity scene in Texas is not complete without a roach. 

As next Sunday is the 25th, my report of whether I was successful in my part time employment as 'personal shopper', and whether everyone was feliz with their gifts will have to wait for a day or two.  Tonight is the traditional, 'go look at the lights', and express the usual 'ooh's and 'ahh's in the right places.  In the meantime, I shall wish yuletide felicitations to all whom partake and look forward to writing.....another story.